Platinum Babies [My Tivo *Just* Threw Up]

Thank fucking gawd I saw this post on McBrooklyn last week...otherwise it could have taken me months of googling and channel surfing before I came across this majestic new TV series from WE: Platinum Babies.

If you've ever seen their barftastical series Platinum Weddings, you can pretty much guess what we're dealing with here, but just in case, let me spell it out for you anyway:

"Tatyanna, a hip and eco-conscious writer, is not afraid to spend on her second child. Her family belongs to a trendy private lifestyle club in Soho, her friend invites her to a trunk show to preview exclusive maternity wear and the baby's christening happens on a Mediterranean island where the family is flown."

Oh, and you also should know that Tatyanna and her husband live in Brooklyn.

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ATTN BREEDERS: YOUR MACLAREN STROLLER *MIGHT* *Allegedly* KILL YOUR BEBE (OR, OK FINE: MAIM)

OH SHIT.

The stroller brigade is now *truly* Fucked in Park Slope: Maclaren is getting ready to announce a massive recall of over 1 million of its strollers (dating back to 1999), due to the fact that a hinge seems to be chopping off little kiddos fingertips. Oopsie!

According to the Daily News's source: "Parents should stop using these strollers right away," the source said.

Ok, true ONLY 12 children have had their fingers chopped off so far, but do you want to be lucky number 13??

I cannot imagine what the Park Slope Parents board looks like right about now. Cause based on my unoffish survey, (i.e. noticing stroller brand as I'm "accidentally" clipped while walking down the street), 9.9 outta 10 parents in Park Slope seem to be rockin a Maclaren.

Anyway.

Here's the scoop from Maclaren on how you can obtain the hinge covers so your kids can keep all 10 of their fingers.

FIPS CARES! (about your bebes!).

(tip via ShotZombies)

Kids Watch 32 Hours of TV a Week

So, according to some shiny new study from Nielsen, 2-5 year old kids watch an average of 32 hours of TV a week; Kids aged 6-11 are only clocking in at around 28 hours a week, cause their asses are in school longer.

I watch about 29 bazillion hours of TV of week.

Now what??

I love how everyone uses this shit as a panic button to confirm that we're all going to hell in a homemade UFO b/c TV is soooooo bad for you. And its melting our brains.

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Teach Your Kids About The Internet

"What's a web page?? Something ducks walk on!?"

(via Buzzfeed)

Provini Hates Kids? I Love Provini

So remember when Provini drew the ire of an angry Park Slope Parent on Yelp? And then it exploded into an angry debate between BALLERS, BREEDERS, and people who just love a good online fight (wanna read a good, albeit out-of-date one? Check this out ). 

If you're not already up to speed, the dramarama was based around the fact that some woman wanted to bring her nine-month-old daughter to the restaurant, and called ahead to see if they provided high chairs.  Provini said they didn't, but to come anyway.  Lady shows up and then gets pissed that there's no room to park her stroller.  When she complains, she is told that "Provini is not a child-friendly restaurant."

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