Put Out, or Take Out: Istanbul Park

Behold: our new semi-regular video series, Put Out, or Take Out.

Here's the thing: we order out a LOT. And yeah, we obvs always do so with the intention of getting some really delicious food. But ordering out isn't *only* about the taste of your Kung Pao shrimp. It's also very much about whether or not the dude who answers the phone understands English and can properly take your order, whether or not your shit was packed up by a blind person, whether or not said blind person included chopsticks or plastic ware, or whether or not the delivery guy has a pen for you to sign your cc receipt.

Put Out, or Take Out aims to go deep down into the dark underbelly of Park Slope take out cuisine to uncover the cold hard facts of what goes down from the moment you dial the restaurant, till the moment you throw out all your leftover shit into the plastic bag, tie it up and leave it sitting on top of the garbage because you're too much of a lazy fuck to bring it down to the trash room.

We'll also have a group of rotating guests as we work our way through the nabe that will, hopefully, be way funnier and more entertaining than my ass is.

Restaurant reviews are a dime a dozen, but no one else ever tells you whether or not these take out joints actually put out...until now.

Ok, so a couple things to note:

Click to read more ...

Teach Your Kids About The Internet

"What's a web page?? Something ducks walk on!?"

(via Buzzfeed)

VIDEO: Westboro Baptist Church Pwned by Park Slope

Thirtysecondlife put together this touching video documenting this morning's Wesboro Baptist Church v. Park Slope showdown.

I cried (agggain).

Marshmellows are DEELicious

Ok, fine...you win, BREEDERS. This is very fucking cute.

There I said it.

(via Brooklynian)

Beauty Pageant Boyz

After all the bitching and moaning we do about Park Slope BREEDERS, there is *one* major thing that I feel comfortable stepping up and giving them credit for: they don't seem to be so into kiddie pageants.  Though perhaps, after watching Toddlers & Tiaras semi-obsessively (click through, if you dare for some very fucking frightening images), that's due more to the fact that mamas and papas in our nabe are not poor, dumb hillbillies, but I digress. So, yeah: Good work Park Slope BREEDERS!

In case you have a life are not as addicted to reality TV as I am, I thought I should let you know that, uhm...pageants are NOT just for little girls anymore.

Behold the poor, poor, soon-to-have the living shit beaten out of them pageant boyz.

(via Buzzfeed)

Hotel Le Bleu Opens Rooftop Bar: 'This is a Game Changer'

(video via Brooklyn Paper)

FIRST of all, did you know that the proper pronunciation of Hotel Le Bleu was "HOTEL LUH BLUH!?"

Yeah, well it is.

Also: OMFG YOU GUYS! Right in time for the END of the summer, HOTEL LUH BLUH'S ROOF TOP BAR IS OPEN! O-P-E-N FOR BIZNATCH! The one that was supposed to open in like 2003--yeah THAT ONE! IT'S OPPPPEEEEN NOWWWWWW!

Click to read more ...

Use The Internet To Monitor Your Child's Every Move!!!!

(via Buzzfeed)

Puppy = Bebe

Baby HD from summer of tears on Vimeo.

(via Buzzfeed)

Children!

(via Buzzfeed)

This Chick Is Gonna Be One Helluva MILF

Before anyone starts jerking off, you should know that she's 6 mos preggo.

Yes, people. Apparently dancing pregnant women on youtube is now its own meme.

Hurrah.

(via Urlesque)