'Crafting My Vision' For Park Slope: STFU And Stop Being Dumb

OMGZ, this article by Smartmom for the Park Slope Patch makes me wanna poke my eyes out with rusty nails and then flush my bloody eye sockets out with pickle juice: Crafting a Vision For Park Slope.

Clearly inspired (though not sourced) by the retarded article from the L Magazine last week, which claimed that N. Slope was "awful" because all of our video stores are closing down, Smartmom attempts to summarize the "sacrifices" that we as a community will need to make in order to support local businesses and ensure that 7th avenue doesn't become a "strip mall."

Gag me with a spoon so hard.

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The L Mag Thinks North Slope Is 'Awful'...

image via The L Mag...Because video stores are closing down.

I think the L Magazine is retarded...well at least based on this article: Video Store Closure Proves N. Slope is Awful.

AYFKMWTS??

N. Slope may, in fact, be awful, but not because a fucking video store closed.

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The Economy Has Fully Recovered! (Park Slope Edition)

Take a hard look at that picture at the Prospect Park again...

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Broke in the Slope?

I know we're all supposed to be over this whole great depress recesh of 2008, 2009, and 2010, but at my Food Coop shift last week, I couldn't help but notice that A LOT of people coming through were paying with food stamps, or EBT as those in the know call it. In fact, almost 40% of my sales were bought with food stamps (yep, I started tracking it). And most purchases were made by people who didn't look like the "welfare queens" of old. Are poor hipsters and unemployed journalists the new welfare queens? 

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Who Gives A Shit: What Color Is Your parachute?

Anecdotally, I can say that I have never known so many unemployed people. Sometimes it feels like I've timed my adulthood to coincide with recessions, but this one is pretty bad.

Every time I run into somebody lateley, they seem to have lost their job. Formerly clean-cut neighbors are suddenly sporting "funemployment goatees." Business chic has been replaced with sweat pants at morning school drop off. Legions of former magazine editors are now writing their novels...or blogging. And there are way more folks in Long Meadow every morning for off leash hours in Prospect Park.

I've lost count of how many middle-classed people I know who are living on the verge, cashing out IRAs, and going without health insurance; white bread people in True Religion jeans buying groceries at the Park Slope  Food Coop with quarter collections or EBT cards (formerly known as food stamps); parents raiding
their kids' piggy banks and wallets (okay, that one's me and the 11-year-old *may* actually have a future as a moneylender; as the friggin interest rates are killing me).

Anyway, this whole thing really feels ever so slightly apocalyptic.

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