BREAKING: THERE IS A SAVED BY THE BELL MUSICAL

If you were a child of the 90's, you probably spent a ridiculous amount of time watching Saved By the Bell.  Cheesy, formulaic, and saccharine, it's a mystery why we loved this show so much, considering what a cynical bunch of assholes we all grew up to be (Remember "Friends Forever," for God's sake?).  

AND GUESS WHAT: former Park Slope dwellers Bob and Tobly McSmith have created an homage to the classic show, Bayside! The Unmusical.  

Are you so excited, so excited, so SCARED?  So was I.  BUT: it was hilarious.  So hilarious that I needed to track down Bob ad Tobly to get the inside scoop on this hilarious send-up of this Saturday morning favorite.  

READ MORE

WORLD'S MOST HONEST LOTHARIO SEEKS DATE

We all spend so much time and energy on OKCupid or Match.com, trying to find a love connection.  With all of this time spent trolling the internet for our "perfect match," it's possible that we've lost that special connection—the kind of connection that can only come from a handwritten personals ad taped to a garbage can outside of the subway station.

Found outside the 4th Avenue station, this ridiculous, incredibly specific note (number has been blurred and black-barred to protect the love starved) let's everyone know exactly what he wants.  Although I'm confused as to what a "Cigarette Meet Date" is, I kind of love the honesty being exhibited here.

READ MORE

[FIPS WAS THERE] Zito's North Opening Party!

Okay, so it's HEAT WAVE 2012, Martha & the Vandellas, and you know what that means: you don't want to cook and you want to drink 400 frosty cold beers.

Mission accomplished: Zito's second location is officially open for business, and FIPS hosted their official opening night party.  And despite the heat, we've never been so excited to eat hot, fried food, mainly because it was so delicious.  

READ MORE

[WIN THIS] FREE DINNER & DRINKS AT ZITO'S NORTH OPENING NIGHT PARTY

As we reported previously, Zito's Sandwich Shoppe is expanding to 5th Ave, taking over the old Press 195 space with its new second location.  

For those of you living in North Slope who are lazy and hungry, this is very good news.  Zito's new location will have the same mainstay menu featured in their original location, but they're working on serving up some new breakfast sandwiches, introducing new green salads, and perhaps most importantly—they'll be open until 11pm daily, 12am on weekends.  Summary?  Any time you want a meatball sandwich to the face after drinking 400 beers at happy hour?  Zito's has you covered.

And since all of us are a bunch of drunks who can't stop eating, we're so excited for this new location that we've teamed up with Zito's to host an opening night party on Thursday, June 21.

READ MORE

[YOU'RE WELCOME] Father's Day Gift Guide

Growing up, your mother could scream and yell at you all day, and yet, "Wait until your father comes home" was the only effective threat she could actually come up with.  Why?  Because you knew damn well that your father would come home from another long, soul-crushing workday and not want to deal with whatever bratty tantrum you were having that was making your mother crazy that day.  

He walked through the door, laid down the law, then scarfed down a late dinner while reading the newspaper. Within 30 minutes of getting home, he was passed out on the couch, snoring loudly over the evening news, while you were sitting up in your room, "thinking about what you've done."  

Right now, if you take a moment to think about what you've done, all the grief you put your poor father though—the bad attitude, the drinking, the piercings, the phone calls from the principal, the pregnancy scare—you'd realize it's a miracle that your father didn't hang himself from the tree house he lovingly built for you well before you turned into an ungrateful teenager and an absent adult.  

This year, it's time to get your father something that will help you atone for all of your douchey mistakes. 

READ MORE