A FiPS Round-Up of The Best Thing-a-ma-jigs To Haul Your Baby Around In

Photo via www.lostateminor.com

Given the task to find and present the top 5 strollers for you baby wheeling bastards (Damn it, Kerri!), I have learned several things:

1. Baby stroller names are ridiculously long and complicated
2. These things are pretty damn expensive
3. I could totally be a Professional Baby Stroller Namer

Here’s the thing, guys. I know virtually nothing about strollers. I did, however, read a shit ton of stroller reviews that were presumably written by people who own both babies and things with which to carry them around in. Based on my research, here are Amazon's top 5 most popular baby street haulers (in no particular order):

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Cool or Not Cool:Tricked-Out Strollers for Your Babes?

Fresh off of last week's kiddie curfew at Greenwood Park post, I thought it would only be apropos to follow up with something as amazing as a man who will pimp out your baby's ride for $250. Let's be honest, I'm surprised it took this long for this kind of service to come along.  

According to the Brooklyn Paper, a Canarsie-based inventor by the name of Funk Master Flex Bruce Fraizer will outfit your stroller with such dire necessities as an alarm system, GPS, LED flashing head lights and an iPod docking station. If you want a baby jaccuzzi and bottle mini bar, that will cost extra as part of the premium package add-ons (I made that up... I think).

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Maclaren is Bankrupt; Bugaboos 4 Life!

Bugaboos are officially taking over the streets of Park Slope everywhere. Maclaren, the stroller-making company that isn't Bugaboo, is going the way of Old Yeller. They've filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, meaning that they're completely liquidating the business.

Was it the competition from Bugaboo's fancy cameleon or donkey that did Maclaren in? NOPE. The reason behind their Chapter 7 is much worse. The New York Times reports:

But in late 2009, Maclaren’s cachet was damaged when a million of its strollers were recalled after the fingers of 12 children were amputated on the hinges of its foldable model ... The United States unit of Maclaren has filed for bankruptcy, and among the creditors are seven families whose children were injured and had filed lawsuits, as well as one of the company’s lead designers.

R.I.P., Maclaren. You're going to a better place where you can't CUT OFF CHILDRENS' FINGERS.

NO SPACE IS SAFE FROM STROLLER ENVY [OVERHEARD]

Sunday, Chase ATM at Seventh and Carroll.

Mom 1, with lowly Maclaren stroller: "Oh, I'm so jealous. They're so much easier to push."

Mom 2, with Bugaboo: "Yeah, they really are."

Mom 1: "Is that their first double?"

Mom 2: "Actually, it is."

Mom 1: *starry-eyed sigh*

Happy Monday, freaks.

Illustrator Gives Accurate Portrayal To Park Slope Strollers

Steven Weinberg has seen his fair share of strollers in the Slope. Like most of us, he's entertained SLASH horrified by the double wides, the speed-of-light mommy joggers and the toddler with the blue tooth. Unlike most of us, he can ACTUALLY draw, and therefore was able to reproduce his findings as lovely illustrations. See more after the jump! 

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