FIPS [Weekend] ToDo's

(vid via FREEWilliamsburg)

*Go listen to Q-Tip from Tribe Called Quest DJ with Rich Medina @ the Santos' Party House tonight. (NY Mag)

*Hit up the new *new* Brooklyn Flea Winter locale in Dumbo (I think I'm hittin' this shizzy up on Sat!). (Brownstoner)

*Relive the 90's with 24 Hours of Courtney Love. (Buzzfeed).

*See some music: Takka Takka, Tamar Eisenman (Indie Rock) Free!! @10:00pm on Saturday at the BAM Cafe; or Stephane Wrembel presents The Django Experiment (Gypsy Jazz) $10, 9:00pm on Sunday at Barbes. (Gowanus Lounge).

*Go snowboarding on the East River. (Gothamist)

*Invent a human alternative to foie gras (PLEEZ! Cause I srsly *love* that shit but I saw something on TV once about what they have to do to to those poor little Geese and I cried for days). (Fork in the Road)

[New Girl] In Park Slope: My First Week

This is an ongoing series in which we attempt to bring you lots 'o different perspectives on what its like to *actually* live in Park Slope...from readers just like you (or not--that's the whole point).

Remember the randy, SF ex-pat, former Billyburger, future literary wunderkind wannabe: Caitlin? Well, she's back.

So two days after Christmas my dad and I packed up an unmarked white van and drove down from Boston to Paaaarrrkkk Slooooppe. Dads had never been here before, and honestly, we still could have been in Connecticut when he was all, "I think we're here!" because I don't know Park Slope from New Haven. I am new. So screw me. I mean sue me!

Click to read more ...

BREEDER vs. BALLER: Who's More Annoying: Kids or Dogs?

This week's guest BALLER post will be written by: BALLER BITCH. Cause the *real* BALLER has a cat (and BALLER BITCH has a dog), and everyone knows that dogs are way better than cats.

Click to read more ...

FIPS ToDo's

*Check out the 92Y's Comedy Below Canal Show co-hosted by Janeane Garofalo (24, Wet Hot American Summer) and Paul F. Tompkins (VH1’s Best Week Ever). Other special guests include David Cross (Arrested Development) and Park Slope's own Kristen Schaal (Flight of the Conchords). It's tonight at 9:30pm. (Urban Eye)

*It's Janeane Garofalo day! (Gothamist)

*Buy verymeri tshirts (they're all designed by kids). And sign up your school for a design contest (they're fun!) (verymeri)

*Play Tetris...its good for your health! (Buzzfeed).

*Don't miss the fab Brooklyn Based series on...Missing Brooklyn (Brooklyn Based).

BREAKING: Marketing Genius is in for Some Serious Poon

Oh my G0D, I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack.

Did you see this guy's Craigslist Ad?

This guy is a total fucking genius - talk about hitting your target audience. Let me break out the keystroke loggers and hidden cams, cause I just know he's gonna end up banging my wife.

Check this shit out:

Are you home all day, bored and devoid of sexual excitement and pleasure?

Uh, what park slope mom isn't?!?!

Is is your husband working all day and doesn't desire you when he comes home?

Please; you don't know the half of it! Not only do I come home exhausted - I can't even get it up under normal circumstances! I'm a totally flaccid software project manager, about 15 years past my sexual prime, AND doped up on anti-depressants: My manhood is essentially a wrinkled, shriveled acorn.

Are you taking care of your children all day and want someone to kiss, lick and caress your special spots?

Holy christ that's a low blow - he brings the kids into it you FUCK. Why not just mention how she has to pick up my dry cleaning while you're at it? And what is my kid supposed to do while you're banging his mom, you sick fuck?! Watch Dora?

I am not looking for any drama or to wreck an marriages just equal sexual satisfaction with an emphasis on pleasure...I am a 6'3 athletic male living in Park Slope. I am a successful and cultured.

Oh great, he's gorgeous AND rational. Fuck it, I'm going for a pre-emptive happy-ending massage. I am SO getting back at that lying, cheating bitch.