Park Slope Missed Connections: Animal-loving Salt & Pepper goatee seeks Environmentally-conscious cowgirl

M4W, 40 - Park Slope (via Craigslist)

"You in cowboy boots and glory, standing up to protect our drinking water on 7th Avenue in the Slope yesterday. I came out of the pet food store sporting sunglasses and a salt and pepper goatee. I think you wanted to connect, but you just set me on fire and it was such a perfect moment I couldn't let words touch it. I would do anything to look into your eyes again. Even talk."

Is this you, mystery woman of Park Slope? If so, it's time to reconnect with your salt & pepper goatee-d admirer.

Your Park Slope Missed Connections

Image via www.lovetrekker.com

7th Avenue F Station: Metro Card Swipe (M4W)

You, kind lady, were generous enough to swipe your Metro Card for him to get in, even though it wasn't an unlimited (you can't actually double swipe an unlimited, but whatever). He'd like to return the favor, perhaps by treating you to a meal that costs exactly $2.25. 

Park Slope Craigslist Personals: Bachelorette Edish

 

What are your plans for 2012?  Finally invest in a beer-making kit? Really start getting coffee at the bodega since it’s only fucking 75 cents? Cool, but what about your love life? What about getting effed in Park Slope?  For inspiration, I’m attempting to match this lovely local bachelorette with three potential Park Slope connections! You’re welcome, pers-n6uuf-2791791953@craigslist.org, and may you reach your corporeal goals! 

First let's meet:

The Bachelorette: Spanking. And dates. - 27 (Park Slope)

Hello out there -- it's officially a new year. So I'm looking forward to new possibilities! My ideal winter date would be a guy in his 30s who is handsome, has his life more-or-less in order, and likes to indulge in a little kink. I do not want a crazy S&M boyfriend or whatever. Just want the pool of men I date to be guys who really like spanking, and are good at it. Life's too short to wait till the third date to disclose that, right? :)

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Doulas for fathers-to-be

Photo: Zenfound.wordpress.com

Mothers-to-be: when giving birth to your next requisite Park Slope baby, don't forget about the needs of your male half. As the doula wipes the sweat from your brow and handfeeds you ice chips, make sure your man has the same treatment during these intense hours.

For just $200 you can hire a Craigslist "dudela," a doula to hold the hand of fathers-to-be through the metaphorical pain of perineal tears. The (presumably fake) ad offers men non-medical support during their wife's labor. A dudela will handle all texts and phone calls during the delivery, update your Facebook status on your wife's dilation progress and tweet the announcement of your child's crowning moment. Not to mention, handle all up to the minute sport updates so fathers can really be in the moment.

Click to read more ...

Park Slope Craigslist: Sexy Couple Needs Help

A Park Slope couple with a "child" is looking for a "live-in nanny" to do some "light cleaning." If you're a super hot woman of West Indian or Spanish descent, please contact this equally sexy European couple:

Educated,prof. attractive married European couple,very uninhibited with high sex drives seeking attractive bisexual West Indian/Spanish female for live in nanny position to care for small child and to move in with us either p/t,preferably full time,additionally some light cleaning and other small chores.salary along with your own room and board and you will travel with us also at our expense.We prefer that you are in good shape as we are,wife is 5'7 130, husband is 6' 190 in our early 30's ,healthy,drug and disease free,single and pleasant disposition,age 21 to 40.You should be ok with spending time mostly with wife is very bisexual and a pleaser,but husband may also join at times.We are very private and discrete professionals and want by all appearances for our relationship to be same to outsiders.Please reply with,photo,your experience and background,single females only and preferably W.Indian/Spanish.Bye,bye. 

To peep the actual post (read: boobs and bootie) click HERE Bye,bye.

[Thanks to Park Slope Lens for the hawt tip!]