V-Day Didn't Deliver? Don't Worry, This Guy Will Hook Up Your Trolling Ass [MISSED CONNECTIONS]

You, lonely single: Your Valentine's Day sucked, everyone around you was getting all snuggly 'n' shit and here you are, already having made your candy sale trips to both CVS and Duane Reade. So, where do you turn next? Missed Connections, obviously! Since that chick with the glasses reading Proust who never looked up from her book was SO checking you out, too!

OK, so I actually can't make fun of MC, because 1) it gives me pretty much all my fodder for this here blog and 2) I've been MC'd four--count 'em, four--times. And they all ruled. But there's a(n admittedly cute) dude with glasses, a Ph.D and a professorship at NYU-Poly who's taking all the sleuthing and trolling out of Missed Connections.

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MISSED CONNECTIONS: Haaaay, Single Co-op Boys!

You a single, a Park Slope Food Co-op dude looking for some action? Out yourselves! Wear a special armband or something! Corrall yourslves near the organic tofu! 'Cause this chick wants to get it on with you:

to all the cute boys at the co-op - w4m - 26 (park slope)

I realize that 95% of you are married and have cute-ass kids who love kale as much as you do. But that other 5% MUST exist and I'm determined to find you...let yourself be known! 

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COOL OR NOT COOL: Gettin' Busy At The Park Slope Food Coop?

Once in a long while, an article about Park Slope comes across my laptop screen that is just so damn mind-bending in it's own perfectly crafted galactical absurdity, it scrambles my brain a little bit. Like it starts to feel as if the myriad of possibilities for making fun of this shit--this neighborhood we live in and all the people who live in it--is just completely overwhelming. IT'S TOO BIG FOR EVEN THIS BLOG TO HANDLE.

Such is the case with The New York Observer's nuanced exploration into the dark underbelly of the singles scene at your favorite judge-y work camp market and mine: the Park Slope Food Coop. Lest you think the Coop is only good for inane PA announcements or #768 (or whatever the fuck the number is) plastic recycling days, think again, ppl. Because apparently now your 2.75 hours of monthly avocado counting and orange vest walking responsibilities are not the only Coop-y things you have to look forward to. No siree, Sufjan! Here's yet another item to add to your ever growing "Reasons Why The Coop Rocks" Google tasks list: singles events!

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Have you Taken Our Park Slope Sex Survey Yet?

Your answer, predictably, is YES, because I looked at the results and a shit load of you have spilled your dirtiest secrets! If you are in the minority and have NOT jumped on this titillating train, now's your last chance! Click HERE and take our anonymous Park Slope Sex Survey. We'll post the results soon, and you'll all get to see how many Slopers out there are having threesomes, babies and scandalous affairs... 

Dating in Park Slope REALLY IS Stupid [We're All Going to Die Alone]

If there's one thing we've established here at FiPS (besides the whole "babies are the devil and where's my local organic arugula, goddamnit?" thing), dating in Brooklyn can kind of suck. And in Park Slope...well, it's something of a death wish. So, naturally, as a freshly-single-holy-fuck-I-forgot-how-to-do-this-dating-thing young woman, I'm ostensbily already screwed. But stir in this post from Brooklyn Is Stupid, and I basically want to end it all.

This week, a guest blogger on Brooklyn Is Stupid posted her (incredibly stupid) tale of dating a Park Slope writer. She makes a hell of a case for why dating blows in the entire borough, "Brooklyn has an abundance of over-educated, under-employed, whiny, artsy types. They’re overly analytical and egotistical, and tend to wear skinny jeans," but adamatly throws writers on the top of the pile for the most insane. And she posts an actual email recieved from a writer she'd gone out with three times to prove it.

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