BREAKING: Marketing Genius is in for Some Serious Poon
Benjamin | Wednesday, January 7, 2009 at 1:05AM 
Oh my G0D, I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack.
Did you see this guy's Craigslist Ad?
This guy is a total fucking genius - talk about hitting your target audience. Let me break out the keystroke loggers and hidden cams, cause I just know he's gonna end up banging my wife.
Check this shit out:
Are you home all day, bored and devoid of sexual excitement and pleasure?
Uh, what park slope mom isn't?!?!
Is is your husband working all day and doesn't desire you when he comes home?
Please; you don't know the half of it! Not only do I come home exhausted - I can't even get it up under normal circumstances! I'm a totally flaccid software project manager, about 15 years past my sexual prime, AND doped up on anti-depressants: My manhood is essentially a wrinkled, shriveled acorn.
Are you taking care of your children all day and want someone to kiss, lick and caress your special spots?
Holy christ that's a low blow - he brings the kids into it you FUCK. Why not just mention how she has to pick up my dry cleaning while you're at it? And what is my kid supposed to do while you're banging his mom, you sick fuck?! Watch Dora?
I am not looking for any drama or to wreck an marriages just equal sexual satisfaction with an emphasis on pleasure...I am a 6'3 athletic male living in Park Slope. I am a successful and cultured.
Oh great, he's gorgeous AND rational. Fuck it, I'm going for a pre-emptive happy-ending massage. I am SO getting back at that lying, cheating bitch.
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Reader Comments (8)
ROTF!! You're right- what DOES he expect my kids to do while we're having loud animal sex?!?
Major flaw! Not such a marketing genius afterall!
Ben: I'm going to need the house alone Fridays from 2 until 4. And, the nanny is going to be taking the kids to B&N to read books on the floor.
Your adoring wife,
Shoshanah.
PS: You haven't licked my special spots since you came home drunk from your grad school Christmas party twenty one years ago.
Watch Dora!!?
just spit my coffee
"I am not looking for any drama or to wreck an marriages"
This guy has poor grammar too. I'd like to give P.S. Moms a bit more credit than this guy is willing to dole out.
Actually he's an idiot, there are plenty of FAR hotter lonely wives in Manhattan.
Sure you'll get your takers in PS but after banging a "5" do you really want to hear about sustainable farming and all the toxins in mattresses?
Damn. You folks have ALL the fun.
I have a lot of special spots I'd like this guy's tongue to work his magic on. Methinks I'll have him clean the kitchen floor first. He can also gently caress my toilet with a scrub brush if he wishes (this piece of plumbing could use a little TLC, BIG TIME). Then (provided I find his work to be up to my stringent standards) I'll let him simonize my car.
Did anyone notice the irony in the last sentence:
"I am a successful and cultured."
A successful and cultured WHAT?! Chinless idiot? I think this guy sounds terribly sad and has watched far too much MILF porn. I have 3 words for him...
Strunck and White.
Ugh.
Believe me, they cheat. You're at work busting your balls all day, and they're cheating.