Hog Mountain Dunzo

HOG MOUNTAIN, that manly man store on the corner of Sackett and 5th is officially GOING OUT OF BUSINESS!

Where am I gonna buy hammers and upscale shaving supplies for my man now?

This is sad news 4sure, but also: RED HOT SALE ALERT: socks are only $1 for a pack of 3! And not shitty Hanes socks, real fancy MAN socks. Get 'em while you can! The store is almost emptied out at this point, but Levi jeans are going for $35 a pop, and there is a cool table for $150 that I wish I had space for.

What's next for the moutain men? Dude that runs the store told me their next venture will be the wholesale fancy boot bidnezz. I'm sold.

Dog's Den Closed By NYC Marshal

image: Here Is Park SlopeAfter some crazy Kennel cough outbreak, Dog's Den has apparently been seized, shut down by the NYC Marshal (whatever the hell that is), and is now for rent.

Back when we first moved to Park Slope several years ago, we needed a daycare solution for Oliver and Dog's Den had just opened. It was sort of the only game in town, and the facilities looked pretty OK, so we started sending him there. But we quickly realized that the place sucked a gigantic dizzle.

Here's some reasons why:

• It didn't take long for the place to start smelling like a piss factory...on a hot day in the middle of summer....during the middle of a piss storm. It was never ever ever never clean in there. 
• They had a "puppy cam" that was supposed to allow you to watch your dog every day. First they told me it would only work with PC's...then I heard it was "broken." It pretty  much stayed that way for the duration of our time going there (8 mos or so).
• One day when I was picking up Oliver I was privy to an "interview" meeting that the owner was having with a potential new employee. Why the eff he felt it appropriate to conduct this meeting in front of me, I do not know. The dude did not ask this person what his experience with animals was, how he felt about animals, if he was a pet owner. He basically just emphasized that it was a minimum wage job and "not very much fun." This attitude was very evident with most of the employees who (with the exception of one or two) were not people who were there because they loved dogs...they were just there cause they needed a paycheck.
• I go to pick up Oliver one night and they bring him up to me with a bloody cut on his nose. I ask what happened and they tell me that "Oliver got into it" with one of the other dogs. We've had Oliver for 9 years now, and had never once have seen O-town "get into it" with any other dog. They didn't really have much more of an explanation. He looked to me at the time like he needed stitches so we took him to vet (for an emergency after hours appt, thank you very much). As it turned out, he didn't need stitches, but he does now have a permanent scar from the incident, ruining his chances forever at a John Casablancas modeling contract.

It was soon after that we decided WE'RE NEVER STEPPING FOOT INTO THAT HELL HOLE AGAIN.

How rad would it be if some responsible, conscientious, Doggie Daycare owners took the place over, changed the name, cleaned it the fuck up and turned it into a rad Doggie Daycare facility?? Cause the Slope desperately needs one and I'm pretty sure that with all the dogs around here, it could make about a billion dollars.

(via Here Is Park Slope)

RIP OTB

A moment of silence for Off-Track-Betting, that staple of my life in NYC. OTB is DEAD. Or dying. I'm not really sure which because I've never actually been inside one. But I liked to know it was still around, somewhere on 5th Avenue in lower Park Slope, draining everybody's resources (and apparently the state's too).

An obit from obit magazine online (who knew?) in its "mourning" roundup. Get it? Kind of good.

Although the New York City Off-Track Betting Corporation has threatened numerous times over the years to shut down its Off-Track Betting parlors, those storefront gambling establishments, few expected they would actually do it.

Well, they did. And, as the New York Times put it, “another piece of gritty old New York [has] gone the way of the Automat and the Times Square peep show.”

The New York State Assembly passed a bill two weeks ago to float the money-losing enterprise, but the State Senate refused to carry the bill through leaving it dead on the floor and shuttering the doors of around 50 OTB’s around the city.

Fans of OTB on Facebook (yes they have a Facebook page) shared memories of harness-racing majesty, conjuring names of jockeys and horses from days of yore:

Al Greco: “I remember, in my growing up days as a Harness racing fan, names Like, StanLey Dancer, BiLL Haughton, Carm AbbateLLo & Horses Like Adios ButLer + So Mac Lad come to mind! /// Indeed, those days were the 'GoLden days of Harness Racing!”

Workers swept up ripped ticket discards for the last time Tuesday night.

Got an OTB story to share? Probably not 'cause you nouveau baby gamblers prefer your gambling online and make the FIPSters do all the heavy lifting wordwise. But if you do.... now's the time.

EAT IT: Bye Bye Lucas Foods & Some Gorilla Gossip

original image: Here's Park Slope+ PLEASE DON’T DROP OFF YOUR KIDS HERE: PS Brooklyn is not a school, it’s a restaurant! It will open the first week of December in the former Bussacco space at 833 Union Street, serving American comfort food (via Brownstoner).

+ BYE BYE: Lucas Fine Foods at 847 Union closed, because apparently it was never open when people wanted to go there. They will continue to do catering and dinner delivery, and a monthly tasting. The ice cream they sold, Ample Hills Creamery, will be opening its own store in Prospect Heights (via Grub Street).

+ GORILLA GOSSIP: Gorilla Coffee made the beans more expensive, by making the bags smaller. Sneaky! (via Brooklynian).

+ BURGER WARS Smashburger is coming to Brooklyn, and so is Shake Shack. WAR! Though Smashburger is not saying where in BK they're going, they are hopefully/maybe/probably coming to Park Slope?? PLEASE?? (via Diner's Journal)

+ WAKE UP: I’m not one of those bitchez you can count on to be constantly shithoused out of her brains on Sunday mornings, and so I sometimes wake up hungry for an early brunch. Like ten? Would it kill a place that sells something other than bagels to open before 11:30 in Park Slope? I want to get in there while the god-fearing among us are churching it up, and while the BREEDERS are still looking for little snookem’s hat and gloves and shoes and packing up their two-ton bug-a-boos. I thought nice brunch places were like bars, where you go to talk about adult shit like who you had sex with last night, and was it any decent. If you’re taking your kid out to a brunch spot that features pancakes with mint garnishes and isn’t called IHOP, then your kid better sit in their fucking chair and not throw organically sourced grits on the floor. kthanks.

BREAKING: LA TAQUERIA DUNZO

photo: BrownstonerWell, if you don't belive in the careful, fragile balance of the universe, clearly your ass hasn't taken a look around Park Slope recently. Because apparently there is a new mutant force in play in our neighborhood and it works like this: for every new restaurant, one must close. The latest victim: La Taqueria.

From FIPS reader Ben:

"Walked by La Taq [yesterday] morning on 7th Ave. and there's a sign in the window saying the restaurant/bar part is closing for good. The takeout area will remain open. I wonder if the costs of keeping up with the Department of Health got to them? Hear anything about this one?"

And here's the thread on Brooklynian. Never ones to disappoint, the Brooklynian posters delved right on into attacking the owners, and then fighting over whether or not attacking the owners was "harsh" or not. Goddammit I love that site.

Anyway.

Au revoir, La Taq! (kinda!)