My Favorite Park Slope: Street To Window Peep (But Not in a creepy way)

[Photo by Flickr User benrubenstein]

Pushing a stroller up the hill from 5th Avenue to Prospect Park for adventures in the Tot Lot is kind of like hiking, only WAY worse and with even MORE people wearing Teva sandals. The only things that make that make this trek tolerable is a) I'm usually double-fisting a cheese danish and a raspberry danish (SO MANY DANISHES) and b) I always walk up Garfield Place.

Why? Because everyone on this block has huge windows and super fancy furniture, and I just want some beautiful floor to ceiling drapes, OK? It's like, SOME OF US don't have room in our apartments for all the Eames-molded plastic furniture that we see in our wet dreams. And there's nothing wrong with trolling the streets for vicarious hurrahs while binge-eating, sweating, and preparing your body for the horrors of the Tot Lot.

Also, the best time for non-creepy window peeping is twilight (OMG, KStewwwww!), when people have their lights on, but have yet to close their blinds.

So many pendant lamps. 

Out Of Work? Learn How To Make It As A Park Slope Nanny!

Are you tired of pretending that the random crap you create and sell on Etsy while binge eating Cheetos counts as a job? Put down that decorative feather, reader, and take a good look around you. Babies are all up in this nabe and they need someone to take care of them while their parents go to work. That someone could be YOU.

The New York Times recently ran an article about what rich parents look for in their nannies, and we've rounded up the basics so you can start training. Here are 10 things you need to know in order to land a gig wiping the asses of the young Ravens and Edwards in this hood:

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Street Parking App Coming To New York!

One of the censors / photo via CBS NY

There are three things worse than waking up to a dead cockroach floating in your beer.

1. Running out of queso sauce.

2. Downton Abbey withdrawal.

 3. Trying to park in Park Slope (more like NOT Park Slope, am I right?).

Luckily, street parking is about to get a lot easier (read: No more soft sobbing into your hands as you try to find a spot near Union Market).

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There's Carnage in Park Slope

Do you hope and dream for a movie that will unite Park Slope Breeders and Ballers together in a fit of mutual hatred towards parents and kids? Because it's TOTALLY HAPPENING, people.

Roman Polansky’s new film Carnage tells the story of the Longstreets and the Cowans, two couples who gather in a Park Slope brownstone as they search for a resolution to their kiddos' recent fistfight at the Brooklyn Bridge Park. The encounter quickly falls apart as characters struggle to ascertain who is to blame for an assault that left one child with a loose tooth and a busted lip. So, basically it's 3 full hours of middle aged yuppies talking about the fruit of their looms in a fancy apartment.

Sounds...totally unwatchable.

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Hot Park Slope Dad Or Lesbian? You Decide!

Do you ever find yourself innocently writing in your Moleskine journal (deal with it), when a sexually-ambiguous breeder wearing crocs gets all up in your piece? Not a day goes by that we don’t wander around Park Slope wondering whether or not these fleece-clad yuppies are lesbians or DILFs. It's definitely making us all kinds of confused about where we fall on the Kinsey scale.

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