A Non-John Lennon-Themed FiPS Food & Drink Roundup

It's officially the fall, folks. Pumpkin spice abounds. As is the case every fall, there's always a crop of new restaurant & bar openings to look forward to. At the same time, far too often the fall means restaurants shuttering after a disappointing summer. As we make our way through October, it looks like there are a lot more openings than closing in the hood, so I guess that's a good thing.

Tomorrow, Brooklyn Porridge Co. reopens for their second season, after debuting last year in the space occupied by Uncle Louie G’s during the warmer months. Last year, as the winter tried to kill me, I stopped by a few times. Meh. It's gonna take more than a bowl of grains to get my motor running, especially at $7 for a tiny bowl of the stuff. Still, I'll probably find myself there at least once this winter, likely around the time when it gets so fucking freezing that it's a wonder that I've actually left the apartment.

In reopening news, last week The Chocolate Room officially opened their doors to their new, larger space down 5th Ave between Bergen & St Mark's. I, for one, am more excited about the impending arrival of Nunu's Chocolates in the hood. Park Slopers seem to enjoy The Chocolate Room though & I’m going to spare you from my brilliant chocolate/poop/Park Slope breeder joke, so I guess there’s no need to shit on them for now.

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A Non-Slurpee 7/11 FiPS Food & Drink Roundup

It's SUMMA BITCHES! Shit's been SO DAMN HOTT out there. This past week, shit's also been SO DAMN HOTT in the world of Park Slope food & drink. It's a literal whirlwind out there! Times be tough. Restaurants can't survive no more. There is no future. We're all gonna die one day. Before we all die, let's reflect on all the recent activity in Park Slope...

It's SUMMA BITCHES! That means your fat ass should be inhaling as much ice cream as humanly possible before the shitty winter months arrive. In furtherance of this cause, next Tuesday Ample Hills is finally getting around to opening up their MEGASHOP in Parkwanus. Gorge away, ice cream enthusiast. SALTED CRACK CARAMEL!!! FAT! ASS!

Do you like new signage? Does the idea of fresh, commercial signage just get you SO DAMN HOTT?!!! This past week, signage finally went up at two of the Barclays area's coming attractions--Doughnut Plant & Shake Shack. Stop by the Barclays area. Gaze up at the new signage. Take a mental pic. Go off & masturbate somewhere.

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RUMORSVILLE: LOKI DOKEY?

It's like some scraggly, bearded, irrelevant septuagenarian kinda-Minnesotan Jew once said back in the days when it actually meant something but ultimately didn't:

THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN'

In the lonely village of what I suppose you could refer to as "Rumorsville, Brooklyn" we've learned that the times they are a changin' in Park Slope. Get ready for a yuppie in every brownstone!

Here's the deal...y'all recall how LOKI Lounge has been around for forevs...1999 & shit? Bar in the front, "lounge" in the back? Somewhat recently "secret" steakhouse 'round the bend? Welp...you may have to reconsider your current stance on moving upstate & working on Maggie's farm because in Park Slope, the times they are a-TOTALLY changin'.

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Yet Another FIPS Food ROUNDUP!

Maybe you've been a bit busy over the past week. Maybe you haven't been able to keep up with all of the hood's recent food news. It makes sense after all, as there's been a hell of a lot going on in the world, what with the downfall of Carlos Danger and the whole Syria thing and the still-lingering effects of Miley Cyrus being OH SO BAD. Fret not, lemmings! This here Park Slopish food news roundup is designed to fill all the tasty, tasty holes in your heart.

On Tuesday, Park Slopers awoke to the news that Zito's, the Italian sandwich shop that at one point appeared to be part of a resurgence along 7th Ave, was closing. The owners took to Twitter to announce that they'd lost their lease on their original 7th Ave location, leaving only their 5th Ave shop open. Fortunately, Zito's signed a ten-year lease on the 5th Ave space & have plans to expand their delivery area so, for now, folks will still be able to get their fix of Autogrills...all without having to travel to stupid 7th Ave!

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FiPS Weekly Food ROUNDUP!

Photo via LA

As far as food goes, this week was pretty damn slammin' Sammy Sosa in the Slope. Openings, closings, pending openings, pending closings, food on wheels...a metaphorical cornucopia of food news.

For a lil' bit there, Bay Ridge bakery & institution Leskes looked like it was pretty much done for. In 2011, after fifty years in business, they closed their doors & their Scandinavian baked goods were no more. Then last August, a group of folks who loved Leskes rehired a bunch of the former staff & reopened it using what were essentially the original recipes. Now they've expanded, with a bakery at 588 5th Ave that opened this past Tuesday. To be perfectly blunt, I'm only in it for the black & white cookies, but they have a ton of other delicious junk there. Shit...yesterday they had pink Twinkies in honor of VD.

Last fall, rumors started swirling 'round that Park Slope was about to fall victim to a SHACK ATTACK, as Shake Shack was poised to open their second Brooklyn locale within the shadows of the recently-opened Barclay’s Center. Then this past Tuesday, Shake Shack announced CONCRETE plans to open up shop at 170 Flatbush Ave this Fall. See what I did there? I cleverly incorporated the names of TWO popular Shake Shack menu items into this article. FUCKING BRILLIANT. Anyway, once it opens, it should be a pretty sweet place to go just after a Nets game.

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