PARKING SLOPE [Having a Car Fucking Sucks]

That beige car is fucked in Park Slope in 3, 2...

Like many of you, I don't own a car.  In fact, I think the happiest day of my father's life in recent memory was when I moved to Brooklyn and he got to sell my car.  So, while I've heard plenty about the hell on earth that's parking in the Slope, I'd never experienced it firsthand.  Until this week.

I took the last several days to schlep my ass ten blocks north and move (related: my new apartment rules your face), which involved a shit ton of back and forth car rides facilitated by my awesome-as-fuck mother.  Friday morning at about 10:15, we pulled up to my building with car load #59886, looking to find a spot on a Friday 9:30-10:30 alternate side parking-ruled street.

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SUBWAY ETIQUETTE: THE COMMON SENSE EDITION

We all know that the MTA sucks.  You're all dressed up and ready to go, and then you walk to the station only to find that your train is out of service and the only way you can get to your destination is to take the most ass-backwards route ever imagined—15 train transfers (and they always somehow involve Hoyt-Schemmememorjkrrhorn), going to a borough you didn't even want or need to go to, boarding a shuttlebus, getting off the shuttlebus, hopping on a pogo stick for 17 miles, etc.  

If you're lucky enough to avoid these transfer shenanigans, you can be assured that the smelliest homeless person on Earth will be on your train, along with several mariachi bands, a couple of pole-leaning douchebags, and maybe a hip-hop dance crew.  

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Worst Post Office Ever? Happy Tax Day from the 7th Ave USPS

So, you'd think that maybe, just *maybe,* our local post office would ramp up to oh, i don't know, three open windows in honor of death and taxes day??

Uh, no.

In true fashion, they were as just as understaffed and surly as usual, with maybe two postal peeps manning the front, while untold staffers milled around the back. Can't "sorting wait," for fuck's sake? (though also, I so don't buy that that's what's going on back there).

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COFFEE WARS: Gorilla Employee Speaks [And It Ain't Pretty]

This is what "ExEmp" had to say for themselves in response to Darlene from Gorilla Coffee's terse explanation of what went down with the Norma Rae employee walkout:

"It's not quite so clear cut as Darlene would like to make it.

Darlene is the owner. Carol is not an owner, but she *is* Darlene's partner.

The mass-quitting is related to a number of promises that Darlene made while Carol was away (including a lessened role for Carol) and was later overturned when Carol returned.

The fact is that Gorilla has more employees walk out on it than all of the other people I have ever heard of walking out on their jobs combined. I've always viewed walking out as and extreme measure, but this is a regular occurrence there.

Why?

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COFFEE WARS: Gorilla Coffee SPEAKS

From one of the Gorilla Coffee owners, Darlene Scherer:

"I can tell you this: last night the entire Gorilla Coffee store staff demanded that one of the business partners be removed. If that happened, they would stay. That was an unreasonable request. As of today, no one has shown up for their scheduled shifts."

Ok people, not much, but there you have it.

If any of the Gorilla Coffee employees wanna chime in, we're all ears!