SUBWAY ETIQUETTE: THE COMMON SENSE EDITION

We all know that the MTA sucks.  You're all dressed up and ready to go, and then you walk to the station only to find that your train is out of service and the only way you can get to your destination is to take the most ass-backwards route ever imagined—15 train transfers (and they always somehow involve Hoyt-Schemmememorjkrrhorn), going to a borough you didn't even want or need to go to, boarding a shuttlebus, getting off the shuttlebus, hopping on a pogo stick for 17 miles, etc.  

If you're lucky enough to avoid these transfer shenanigans, you can be assured that the smelliest homeless person on Earth will be on your train, along with several mariachi bands, a couple of pole-leaning douchebags, and maybe a hip-hop dance crew.  

You would think that people who have the mental faculties needed to swipe their card to get into the subway would also have the common sense to know that the mass majority of people don't want to see a hip-hop dance crew, who somehow almost always nearly kick an elderly woman in the face, flailing around on a crowded train.  They also don't want to smell your unshowered body, unclean clothes, or ridiculous ethnic food.

So artist Jay Shells has taken to a guerrilla art project called the "Metropolitan Etiquette Authority" that takes on everyone's subway complaints. 

In a statement to Animal New York, he said of the project:

"I surveyed 100 people on their top pet-peeves (not service related) while riding the Subway. I narrowed the results down to the top ten most occurring issues and rewrote them as a sort of list of rules. I designed posters in the style of the Service Changes posters we see everyday and silkscreened about 40 of each (400 total) and am currently putting them up on trains throughout the city, throughout this week. I encourage people to look out for them, and to take them before the MTA does."

Among the complaints?  Bible-thumping morons, people eating gross food, not giving up your seat for someone who legit needs it, and dickheads who think that everyone will want to hear their music because it's so fly.

Seeing all this said written out loud never felt so good...too bad most of the offenders can't read the signs.  Yeah, I said it.  Illiteracy is directly related to rudeness.  How do I know that?  Because I read it on a blog, so it MUST be true.