Worst Post Office Ever? Happy Tax Day from the 7th Ave USPS

So, you'd think that maybe, just *maybe,* our local post office would ramp up to oh, i don't know, three open windows in honor of death and taxes day??

Uh, no.

In true fashion, they were as just as understaffed and surly as usual, with maybe two postal peeps manning the front, while untold staffers milled around the back. Can't "sorting wait," for fuck's sake? (though also, I so don't buy that that's what's going on back there).

Click to read more ...

CALL OFF THE DOGS: COTMM FIPS-TIGATION UPDATE

Okay, everyone.  This shit is INSANE. 

I just ask a simple question (ie: Where the fuck is my mail?!), and I ended up igniting a firestorm of complaints about the mail service around these parts.  Stories of mailmen hanging out in building lobbies, weeks after weeks of no Netflix, homeless men finding mail in the recycling bin when fishing for empty cans and bottles—it's all super carayzee.

On one hand, it's nice to know you're not alone.  On the other, more pessimistic hand, it's kind of scary to know that this is a neighborhood-wide problem and not just an isolated incident.  So, we decided to mail a letter and test the whole thing out.

Click to read more ...

Undercover FIPS-tigation: Case of the Missing Mail (COTMM)

Not to beat a dead whore horse, but this whole not getting your mail thing is kind of a big deal.  Especially around this time of year, when you've got important financial documents coming.  Hey, USPS, how the fuck am I going to get the tax return that kinda sorta makes me forget that my job pays me in candy bar wrappers and thumbtacks?

So, we've decided to launch a full-scale investigation of this situation, and are kicking it off with me mailing myself a "test" letter (see above).   I dropped this sucker in the mailbox on Seventh Avenue right outside Smiling Happy Crack Face Pizza at 6:30AM this morning.  According to my calculations (and considering the fact that the envelope is travelling literally a few blocks away from its current location), I should receive the letter by Saturday morning AT THE LATEST [ed. note: SATURDAY??? Are you fucking kidding me?? You should get that back by tomorrow! If you don't have the letter by Friday, 1/22, protests should be staged]. 

Click to read more ...

The Case of the Missing Mail (COTMM)

A potential breakthrough the in FIPS Case of the Missing Mail (COTMM trademarked, bitches).  This shit was spotted at L&B Spumoni Gardens on 86th Street in South Brooklyn on Saturday: a USPS mail carrier grabbing a square slice...or five.

Now, I'm not trying to insinuate that our missing mail is the result of our mail people skipping their shifts to grab some of the, arguably, best pizza in the borough (yes, I just went there again, let's fight), but if two and two makes four, then hey, my liberal arts education and I cannot be blamed.  

Click to read more ...