Alternate-Side Parking: We Hate It, But We Hate Not Being Able To Hate It, Too

Image via vosizneias.com

The NY Daily News just unveiled an enlightening piece about Park Slopers who have been creating quite the shitstorm caused by another shitstorm. Residents of our fine neighborhood have been bitching about the recent lack of alternate-side parking because the NYC sanitation department is busy focusing on parts of the borough that were more affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Yes, you read that right.

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Dear Neighbor/Visitor: Why You No Park Efficiently?

Streetsblog.org brings us this brilliant gem of a note placed on several violators’ vehicles around Park Slope by a vigilante resident that is CLEARLY fed up with the inefficient parking bullshit in this neighborhood.

Yes, it rambles on for bullet point after underlined, bold-faced bullet point (which is kind of hilarious when read aloud), but it also makes some pretty decent arguments -- like how we should be courteous and take five seconds to make sure our cars aren't taking up two spaces, especially since parking around here sucks balls sometimes.

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Shitty Parking Sign Gets Park Slope Resident Towed

Mark Vincent / Photo by Yana Paskova for The New York Times

Last October Mark Vincent found himself the victim of a classic Park Slope fucking: his car was towed because of a poorly worded parking sign.

After half an hour spent looking for a spot along Prospect Park West, Mark found one underneath a sign that read “No Standing April to October.” The date was October 2nd. Like any good Park Slope resident, he knows his grammar and assumes everyone else should too, so he parked underneath the sign. After all, the dictionary defines “to” as “up to but not including.”

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Some tires slashed, others stolen in Park Slope this past weekend

The poor fellow in this photo got a nasty surprise when he went to get his car Saturday morning on Prospect Park West, near Carroll St. During the night some thieves stole his wheels (on the Park side, so not to be seen). 

What does it cost to have new tires, rims and lug nuts delivered and installed on a weekend? I guess he’s lucky he wasn’t parked facing the other direction or he might have gotten in the car and tried to drive off without noticing the blocks. The Brooklyn Paper wrote a story this past November about wheel thefts trending upwards in Brooklyn, quoting police commander John Lewis: “These are not random thefts,” Lewis said. “There are crews that go around looking for these tires. And they’re very fast.”

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Cool Or Not Cool: The Doorman Parking Ring on Montgomery Place?

Rando Zombie Doorman

If only this was the worst problem anyone had...

Montgomery Place residents are claiming that the doormen of 27 Prospect Park West, who are paid to move their residents' cars on street cleaning days, are running a parking ring scheme. The doormen are allegedly parking cars so that they take up 2 spots, then when it comes time to park the next car, they move those cars up, creating a new spot -- basically making it difficult for anyone else to park on that block on street cleaning days.

Via The Brooklyn Paper:

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