Hammers-n-Hancos

Uh oh. Looks like someone's tried to break into Park Slope's smelliest Vietnamese sandwich shop over the weekend. 

Maybe the Hancos vs. Henrys war stopped being polite and started getting real?

We commend their crowdsourced approach to justice...anyone have scoop?

TODAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, TIME WARNER SUCKS A LITTLE LESS

We've bitched and moaned endlessly about Time Warner and their shitty service, ridiculously high rates, and their general assbackward approach to business. 

Well, now, my friends, it looks like the cable clouds have parted to a partly sunny outlook.  According to Daily Intel, your friendly Time Warner cable guy can't just show up whenever he damn well pleases without repercussions.  

New rules include that if the cable guy is late for a scheduled maintenence appointment, you will receive the next month's service FREE.  

This shit is good news, because I think I have to schedule an appointment—my DVR has totally been on the fritz.  Anyone else? 

Bedbugs at the Pavilion. Again. And Again.

 We don't talk about bedbugs here for our health, people.  Despite our constant chatter about these adorable, cuddly houseguests, we actually have things we'd rather be writing about.  But guess what?  The fucking Pavilion apparently has them, so we're being forced to ruin your morning coffee yet again.  We're good at that.

The sort-of facts: There's rumor of another bedbug infestation at the Pavilion, as we suspected a while ago (they heartily denied it).  This time, both Brownstoner and Gothamist are reporting about this post from The Bedbug Registry:

A few days ago I was leaving the Theatre with my girlfriend at around 11:55 pm when I saw a bunch of men with large crates and hoses in the lobby, I asked what was going on and he said that Bed Bugs had been found in all of the older theatres with the Purple seats. Then I was at the Windsor Cafe Yesterday when I overheard some people saying that even more Bed Begs were found on the first floor of the building.

What the motherfuck, guys?  Can the Pavilion actually get any worse?  Can we learn enough of a lesson to stop having faith that the Pavilion is not actually the seventh layer of hell?  Is the Pavilion going to sue us for defamation?  Should I have put this shit into a pen name?  What the hell did this guy Zufishan mean when he said, "You can not hide from the loud in a plastic bag" in his Yelp review of this god forsaken place? THE QUESTIONS, WILL THEY EVER STOP?

But seriously.  Unless you're some sort of masochist, just stop going to this place until we get some sort of clear-cut answer about this sitch (not that we understand why you go there in the first place; you'd be better off throwing yourself in front of the F [but please don't do it during rush hour...again]).

Trader Joe's "Crew Members": WTF Is Wrong With These People?

Meredith's C-Town post reminded me of the question that would have been burning inside me had I not forgotten it instantly upon exiting Trader Joe's in Cobble Hill: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PEOPLE?

I want to see the corporate training manual because this over-friendly cool-aid swilling chit chat is just plain wrong. And it seems to be as endemic as those hawaiian shirts. 

As you know, I am a serious infipstigative journalist, and so I made it my business this morning to do a little research. 

That photo above, by the way? On some woman's blog with the following quote: "One of the clerks saw what we were doing and ran over saying, 'Wait, you can't take pictures without a Trader Joe's Guy!'"

Oy.

I know: I'm a curmudgeon. But, really, I'm not. There's just a fine line between good service and freakish, glass-eyed love-huggishness. 

My favorite of the commentary I found online...

From Chowhound:

"I live in NYC where the clerks are often sullen and won't say thank you (even after the customer says it) so believe me, it's not that I don't appreciate friendly service. I just don't like the "play by play" Howard Cosell "What, ANOTHER bag of frozen blueberries, WOW" kind of commentary, by someone who is ringing up my groceries."

"I consider the perkiness as the price we pay for them not being sullen."

From The Ugly New Yorker:

"Without fail, I’ve always felt like my cashier was hitting on me. Men and women cashiers alike. They are more interested in what I did this weekend than most of the guys I’ve dated in the past year. They engage you in chitchat, they smile at you, they make lingering eye contact. And THEY ALL DO IT."

From ahostagesituation:

I'm just not sure what sort of Walt-Disney-themed corporate training that the cashiers are put through to become so obnoxiously involved with their customers at check-out. I'm all for a smile or two, but these people just take it way too far.

So, what gives? Trader Joe's dissidents, closeted crew members, wherever you are: tell us what you know.

[ed note: In a VERY bizarre twist of fate, I have the following confession to make: I kind of dig the over-the-top friendliness of the TJ folks. Much like the "layering" of my toppings at Forty Carrots frozen yogurt, it makes me feel like they care. Even if they ARE just acting their faces off--Erica].

Who Gives A Shit? Naked Pool Party with Marty Markowitz

The gloves (and suits, ties, and pants) are coming off to make sure we all get a chance to take a whizz in the Double-D Pool this summer.

Fact: only 17% admit to peeing in public pools but 80% suspect their fellow swimmers

Yes, Marty Markowitz is threatening to strip down to a bathing suit to protest the proposed shut-down of the Double-D pool. Come on, Marty, make it a speedo! Better yet, this patriotic man thong. 

You think Yvette Clark and our new political hottie Hope will wear bikinis?

Per Gothamist: "If the city doesn't agree to spend the $200,000 to open the pool—which is in walking distance to the Gowanus and Wyckoff Gardens public housing projects—we suspect Markowitz will surely take this thing to the next level. Please, Bloomberg, give the man whatever he wants."

This may be as close to a Norah Jones pool party as we're gonna get.

WHEN: Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 10:00 AM

WHERE: Thomas Greene Park in front of the Pool (Douglass Street between Nevins Street and 3rd Avenue)

(via Gothamist and Brooklyn Paper)