BALLER SPECIAL REPORT: ITS CONFIRMED: KIDS TOTALLY RUIN YOUR LIFE

Dear BREEDER,

HAAAA!

"An eight-year survey of 218 couples found that children brought on a sudden case of the relationship blues, with about 90 percent of mothers and fathers feeling dissatisfied with their partner after the birth of a child, according to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 'Sex almost ceases to exist,' said Diana Kirschner, a therapist from Manhattan. 'All their attention goes to the child.'"

Sucks to be you, hunh?! 

What are you guys up to today? We're off to go smoke a joint, enjoy a boozy brunch with some friends and then watch some porn.  Have fun at Kidville!

xoxo,

BALLER

(Urbanite via Daily Intel)

Help Us Design The Perfect Park Slope Bebe

OK, THIS is kinda fun!

Apparently with all of the progress we've made with science and medicine, parents-to-be will now have the ability to literally design their own babies!:

"No longer confined to science fiction, people may soon be able to pony up about $15,000 for a “designer baby” - and the possibility is making many uneasy. A fertility clinic in Los Angeles has announced that beginning next year, couples will be able to select cosmetic traits such as eye color, hair color and even skin tone for their potential babies."

Wow.

Click to read more ...

Women who don't have babies by 35 are FUCKED

I know there are a lot of smug ballers in our readership, but even you fuckers have got to admit that a woman at Streetcarnage has just penned one of the greatest articles of our time.

Click to read more ...

BREEDER TRIBUTE: 'Is This Real Life?'

David after the dentist

You. Are. Welcome.

Octuplet Mom Plans to Breastfeed All Eight Of Her Bebes

Calling all Park Slope MILFS: what say you about this??

How? Really?

Wow.

(via Examiner)