Help Us Design The Perfect Park Slope Bebe
OK, THIS is kinda fun!
Apparently with all of the progress we've made with science and medicine, parents-to-be will now have the ability to literally design their own babies!:
"No longer confined to science fiction, people may soon be able to pony up about $15,000 for a “designer baby” - and the possibility is making many uneasy. A fertility clinic in Los Angeles has announced that beginning next year, couples will be able to select cosmetic traits such as eye color, hair color and even skin tone for their potential babies."
Wow.
So now its going to be kinda like picking out a purse or a new car!? Babies as accessories...imagine that!?
And don't you just know that Park Slope will be ground fucking zero for the prettiest eyed, silkiest skin, most prounounced cheekboned babies of em all!? Come on...you KNOW this is true, people.
Well, if you can't beat em, we may as well join em!
Let's all design the *perfect* Park Slope bebe! We'll make a list of all the traits, qualities, and personality dispositions that the ideal Park Slope wannabe bebe should have, and then all you BREEDERS can print out this list and just bring it with you to the fertility clinic!
Ok, we'll start:
- Vague Ethnicity - (see kid above). You just want to make sure there's a "hint" of another ethnicity in there, b/c as we all know, White = b-o-r-i-n-g.
- Boy OR Girl - Surprisingly, we'll leave this one up to you. Though we will say it is pretty cute when gay male couples have girls and lez couples have boys. Just a suggestion.
- Vegan - Duh. Can babies be vegans? Whatever...anything is possible if your dream is big enough.
- Not Allowed To... - Watch TV, eat candy, drink soda, etc. This will make it WAY more fun when the kid goes away to college and switches to an all pixie-stix diet and starts skipping Chem class to watch reruns of Mr. Belvedere.
What else did we miss? Leave it in the comments...
(via Urbanite)
Reader Comments (2)
1. self entitlement
2. tantrum thrower
3. lover of birkenstocks
Of course it would not be baptized, but you need some pseudo new age 'naming ceremony' and, of course a name for this creation.
Must also have at least one mulatto baby friend.