Obnoxious Park Slope Brats Likely To Turn Into Obnoxious Park Slope BREEDERS

Ok, well this isn't exactly shocking news, but inneresting nonetheless: there's a new study out in the Journal of Personality that says:

"Adolescents who say they always take charge, tell others what to do, anger quickly, get into fights easily, and walk, talk and eat fast end up having more kids than others when they grow up. That's true regardless of the kids' performance in school."

So that little asshole who ruined your brunch at Dizzy's last weekend? Uhm, yeah so we're actively recruiting him for our BREEDER vs. BALLER column circa 2019.

(via Cityfile)

'Pregnant Women Are Smug'

Will someone please give these girls a fucking record deal already!?

(via Buzzfeed)

Your Baby Can Read

I hate to break it to you, but if you have a child over the age of 8 mos old who is NOT yet reading, then your baby is dumb. 

Sorry, but apparently its true.

I watched a totally fucking amazing infomercial this weekend for the "Your Baby Can Read" series of DVD's and, oh em gee, I was blown the eff away. Babies really can read people!?  Who knew?

There's actual video to back this shit up.  Seriously, go to the website and watch.  Some 8-month-old is running through some flashcards and a 2-year-old is rattling off the state capitals.  I learned to read in Kindergarten and was treated like a fucking rockstar--it's pretty annoying to find out that I should have been with the slow kids.

Anyway, if you're a BREEDER, I'd highly reccommend you get on this gravy train.  It's cheaper than a Park Slope Parents membership and might even get your kid into Harvard...or Burklee Caroll Berkley Carroll (or whatever).

BREEDERS + HIPSTERS = BRIPSTERS?

This series of American Apparel ads for their newly launched maternity line make me want to kick the shit out of a cute puppy....then stomp on its head, cut it up, and make a puppy soup out of it.

Click to read more ...

Park Slope Parents List: version 2.poor

Here's the new alterna Park Slope Parents list for all you poor self-entitled rebellious Park Slope BREEDERS who don't feel like shelling out $25 bucks: The OTHER PSP.

Keep in mind some basic rules: "Please think twice before you post on a potentially flammable subject (ie vaccinations)."

And/or gay children's hats.

OH, also there's this one: Park Slope Kids & Parents

And this one: The FREE Park Slope Parents

(via Brooklynian)