2 Duck 2 Gooseious

In this go-go technological world, people don't have time for full words & phrases. Everything needs to be shortened or, as I like to say, abreived. Take 2 Duck Goose, a Cantonese restaurant that opened back around the beginning of August in the space on the corner of 4th Ave & 6th that was formerly occupied by Anthony's of 4th Ave Pizzeria.

They named the place after the beloved Duck Duck Goose children's game but this is 2014, so it's "2 Duck Goose" to you, missy.

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A Non-Slurpee 7/11 FiPS Food & Drink Roundup

It's SUMMA BITCHES! Shit's been SO DAMN HOTT out there. This past week, shit's also been SO DAMN HOTT in the world of Park Slope food & drink. It's a literal whirlwind out there! Times be tough. Restaurants can't survive no more. There is no future. We're all gonna die one day. Before we all die, let's reflect on all the recent activity in Park Slope...

It's SUMMA BITCHES! That means your fat ass should be inhaling as much ice cream as humanly possible before the shitty winter months arrive. In furtherance of this cause, next Tuesday Ample Hills is finally getting around to opening up their MEGASHOP in Parkwanus. Gorge away, ice cream enthusiast. SALTED CRACK CARAMEL!!! FAT! ASS!

Do you like new signage? Does the idea of fresh, commercial signage just get you SO DAMN HOTT?!!! This past week, signage finally went up at two of the Barclays area's coming attractions--Doughnut Plant & Shake Shack. Stop by the Barclays area. Gaze up at the new signage. Take a mental pic. Go off & masturbate somewhere.

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New Park Slope Eatery Cries Uncle

Uncles are the best. Personally, my dad's fraternal twin, Bob, is a Teamster who lacks a full set of teeth & lives in the Boston suburbs and occasionally drives the Farrelly brothers around when they're chillin' in New England & filming crappy movies. At one point, he worked at Logan Airport and I later inherited the jacket he wore on the runways. Bob's my uncle.

Until recently, Park Slope was hurting for uncle-named establishments. There's Uncle Barry's on 5th & the smattering of seasonal Uncle Louie G shops. Other than that, we're lacking in uncle love. When will we get a Park Slope outpost of Uncle Charlie's, NYC's #1 Gay Piano Bar? Only time will tell.

Just in the nick of time, like an uncle in the night, along comes Uncle Arthur's Café, which opened up back on April 1st in an unassuming space on 9th St just west of 4th Ave. It's the latest restaurant from Richard Gussoff, the chef who closed up his 7th Ave popup eatery, The Soup Bowl, for the season back in mid-March.

While you might assume that the establishment is named for the beloved Bewitched character, it's not. It's named for Gussoff's uncle, who was an attorney for Pacino back in the day & TOTALLY has to be the inspiration for Arthur Kirkland, the lawyer Pacino portrayed in the 1979 flick …And Justice for All.

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This Year, Have a Beyonce-Themed VD!

Screengrab via globalgrind.com

Back in my day, the ultimate musical power couple was Marc Anthony and J-Lo; two performers, both with massive pop appeal, writing songs and kinda going on tour together, one gay, the other not very good. Sadly, their marriage had some differences and that arrangement has since gone the way of the dodo.

These days, that triumphant musical power couple is BY FAR Jay-Z and Beyonce. "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Drunk in Love" and making Blue Ivy and owning the Nets and then Robinson Cano and ethical Barney's clothing and dropping albums on us like a NINJABOMB and Brooklyn, son. That's the power of love. Shit...Forbes even says so because FORBES LIKES MONEY.

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Parkwanus-Sized Drama at The Pines?

Photo via The Pines Facebook page

LONG LIVE PARKWANUS! A mere twenty days ago, The Pines, Parkwanus’ rustically kooky Italian-Asianish restaurant became the neighborhood's first restaurant to receive a starred review from The NY Times' Pete Wells. While they did only receive one star, Wells noted that they seemed to be improving over time, comparing them to the 70's band Television...who apparently sucked for a bunch before they became awesome.

Then this past Friday, word got out that The Pines' head chef Angelo Romano was leaving the restaurant on Friday the 13th. BUT WHA??? Leaving so soon after a NY Times review? It's not like it was that bad of a review. I mean, it paled in comparison to when The Times' Sam Sifton dropped a zero-star "fair" rating on Eddie Huang's Xiao Ye, which closed a month-and-a-half later after one too many Four Loko-related raids.

So WHAT COULD IT BE?

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