New Park Slope Eatery Cries Uncle

Uncles are the best. Personally, my dad's fraternal twin, Bob, is a Teamster who lacks a full set of teeth & lives in the Boston suburbs and occasionally drives the Farrelly brothers around when they're chillin' in New England & filming crappy movies. At one point, he worked at Logan Airport and I later inherited the jacket he wore on the runways. Bob's my uncle.

Until recently, Park Slope was hurting for uncle-named establishments. There's Uncle Barry's on 5th & the smattering of seasonal Uncle Louie G shops. Other than that, we're lacking in uncle love. When will we get a Park Slope outpost of Uncle Charlie's, NYC's #1 Gay Piano Bar? Only time will tell.

Just in the nick of time, like an uncle in the night, along comes Uncle Arthur's Café, which opened up back on April 1st in an unassuming space on 9th St just west of 4th Ave. It's the latest restaurant from Richard Gussoff, the chef who closed up his 7th Ave popup eatery, The Soup Bowl, for the season back in mid-March.

While you might assume that the establishment is named for the beloved Bewitched character, it's not. It's named for Gussoff's uncle, who was an attorney for Pacino back in the day & TOTALLY has to be the inspiration for Arthur Kirkland, the lawyer Pacino portrayed in the 1979 flick …And Justice for All.

Click to read more ...

U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi, Park Slope Ladies

Last week someone on an anonymous mom forum called You Be Mom had something to say about the women of Park Slope. She called us unattractive.

My first reaction was to get defensive.  I mean, I live in Park Slope. A bunch of my friends and coworkers live or have lived in Park Slope. We are all pretty damn attractive, thank you very much. And let’s be clear, everyone is attractive, regardless of whether they conform to society’s idea of “attractive,” because attraction is relative. But then I kept reading, and the poster’s meaning became clearer: she cares about what she looks like when she walks down the street, and the rest of us women in Park Slope don’t, and therefore are frumps. So it’s not about our inherent beauty, it’s about grooming and presentation.

Now, it seems as if she is not judging these women when she’s out at a fancy restaurant for dinner, or at a bar watching people hit on each other, or, God forbid, at these women’s jobs, all places where women (and, you know, people in general) usually endeavor to look nice and on some occasions, attractive. No, she is judging them out on the streets of Park Slope.

Click to read more ...

Spike Lee Lives on The Upper East Side, But Michael Rapaport is a Fucking Idiot

Spike Lee hates gentrification. Yeah, we know Spike. Word up. We heard you at Pratt in February loud and clear. But then Michael Rapaport had to get all crazy and start saying Spike was a sell out because he doesn't live in Brooklyn anymore and now he's an Upper East Sider. Rapaport went on HuffPost live and made himself look like a fucking idiot by calling Williamsburg "William's Point. He proceeded to make no sense from that point forward. What the fuck was he saying? Something about how Spike can't say shit because he isn't a Knicks Fan anymore. I don't fucking know.

I'm with Spike on this one guys. Rapaport is focusing on the fact that Spike is chilling on the Upper East Side, but he forgot that Spike grew up in Brooklyn and saw it change. Let's not forget Do The Right Thing. Radio Raheem would have punched Rapaport in the face if he'd heard his ignorant ass comments. Rapaport is talking about how awesome gentrification is and forgetting about the fact that gentrification is making it impossible for anyone to live in Brooklyn anymore. The people who grew up in Fort Greene, Clinton Hill and Bed Stuy can't even afford to rent a studio anymore because these motherfuckers from Connecticut have taken over Franklin Avenue.

Click to read more ...

FIPS JUICY: BEST STORIES OF THE WEEK

In case you spent all week reading all the think pieces about why Solange lunged at Jay Z in the elevator, here's a wrap-up of juicy FIPS news that graced the pages of our blog this week:

* Couple That Lost Wedding Savings To reBar Talks to FIPS

* Credit Card Skimming in the Slope: Part Two

* [My Favorite Park Slope...] Store That Sells Things

* Our Fave Park Slope Web Series is Back: F to the 7th

* [What You Should Order At...] Dinosaur BBQ: Vegetarian Edition

* Brooklyn Is A Badass Name. No Shit.

Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

 

FREE: Breast Milk

Two people have mentioned to me in recent days that they thought the Craigslist Blotter is cute. Must have been the pussy couch from last week. So we're starting with a strange post as part of our new keep Craigslist Weird campaign. Free titty juice. I have a strong aversion to the act of breast feeding. Is it because of my gross oversexualization of women and their parts? Probably. I can be a revolting human being at times. Hasn't science passed this by though?  Wasn't that Honey Boo Boo raised on Mountain Dew? She's famous now. Really, I think breast feeding children could be holding them back. 

COMMUNITY: Dog runner

Here me now and believe me later. Your dog is flabby. What will it look like when it shaves its hair off and oils its body before competitions? Its puny muscles need to be worked. This lady is here to pump your dog up. I know. Let's move on shall we?

ADOPT: Sting the Cat

We stay away from the adoption posts. Or free dog posts or whatever. This one we had to share though. Sting, the kitten got trapped on a roof. It survived only on the hot dogs thrown at it by tenants from the higher building next door! That's basically the plot of the Hangover, bro. Hopefully there will not be any sequels this time.

Click to read more ...