ICYMI: Kale Chips Graffiti Is Sweeping The Neighborhood

Image via Food52 on Instagram via GothamistPark Slope is the epicenter of the green smoothie these days. Everyone and their mother is walking around with a shot of wheatgrass or running with a carrot apple ginger kale shake in their hand while
listening to their iPod. And, for the past month and a half, someone who really loves their greens is running around Park Slope tagging "Kale Chips" on everything. And hey, all that clean living is getting them some media attention on Gothamist and News 12 Brooklyn!

Back in the 1980s, subway cars in New York City were covered in colorful graffiti. Graffiti artists risked their lives to create spectacular murals or just to sign their tags in the secret train station on 93rd Street on the 1 line. Flash forward to 2014 where the city is cleaner and full of more people wearing khakis and talking about grass fed meat. Even graffiti has taken a turn for the health food obsessed.

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Spike Lee Lives on The Upper East Side, But Michael Rapaport is a Fucking Idiot

Spike Lee hates gentrification. Yeah, we know Spike. Word up. We heard you at Pratt in February loud and clear. But then Michael Rapaport had to get all crazy and start saying Spike was a sell out because he doesn't live in Brooklyn anymore and now he's an Upper East Sider. Rapaport went on HuffPost live and made himself look like a fucking idiot by calling Williamsburg "William's Point. He proceeded to make no sense from that point forward. What the fuck was he saying? Something about how Spike can't say shit because he isn't a Knicks Fan anymore. I don't fucking know.

I'm with Spike on this one guys. Rapaport is focusing on the fact that Spike is chilling on the Upper East Side, but he forgot that Spike grew up in Brooklyn and saw it change. Let's not forget Do The Right Thing. Radio Raheem would have punched Rapaport in the face if he'd heard his ignorant ass comments. Rapaport is talking about how awesome gentrification is and forgetting about the fact that gentrification is making it impossible for anyone to live in Brooklyn anymore. The people who grew up in Fort Greene, Clinton Hill and Bed Stuy can't even afford to rent a studio anymore because these motherfuckers from Connecticut have taken over Franklin Avenue.

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Brooklyn is a Bad Ass Name: No Shit

According to Social Security Administration, Brooklyn is the most popular female baby name beginning with “B” in the majority of the United States except for one place: New York.  The reason for this is obvious. Real New Yorkers know how fucking cool Brooklyn is. If you live in Brooklyn and name your kid Brooklyn, you’re a poser.

Yo, that’s like walking around Times Square wearing an I Heart New York tee shirt. Don’t do that shit. You look like a tourist. Same thing goes for naming your baby girl Brooklyn if you live here; Fahgettaboudit.

Ain’t nobody naming their babies “Manhattan” or “Queens," because we all know what the best borough is.

These parents who live in Montana naming their little girls Brooklyn wish desperately that they (too) lived in Brooklyn. I don’t blame them, dude. Brooklyn is the shit. If there was a choice between living in Idaho and living in Brooklyn, uh…Brooklyn hands fucking down.

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Ken Burns Buys an Apartment With a Fucking Swimming Pool in Brooklyn

Image via The Real DealFilmmaker Ken Burns just bought a three bedroom condo in Prospect Heights with access to a fucking swimming pool. I’m sorry, my brain just exploded. I guess the guy has some Brooklyn street cred since he made that popular documentary on the Brooklyn Bridge back in the 80’s but come the fuck on. Are you serious? A swimming pool in Prospect Heights.

All right, so the pool in question is part of The Eastern Athletic Club on top of Union Temple but still. I live in a brownstone with no pool.  Clearly this guy thinks he's better than all of us.

No real Brooklynite swims during the year. We all wait until the Double D pool on Nevins Street re-opens for the summer season on Memorial Day because that shit is free and our kids can come too. Swimming pools are for suburban motherfuckers.

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