Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

TRADE: Room for work

Seems like a great deal. Take care of things around the apartment and get a free room. Also you get to live with a sweet dog. It really seems to be a perfect situation for a college kid for the summer. They get a free place. Then if they get a little job a couple of days a week they can have spending money. Or even take a couple of classes in the middle of the day

FREE: Dark Room Equipment

I don't know what any of this shit is in the post. It's free though. And dark rooms always looked cool when I'd see them in old movies. Do people still need dark rooms? Seems like everything is digital now.

LOST: Earring

We're including this so you can see how not to write a lost and found post. There is absolutely no information given on what the object looks like. All we know is that it has sentimental value. Does that mean it's got some kind of glowing aura around it? Also there is a reward. So that's monetary value right?  I mean unless they're paying you in sentiment then it's not just a sentimentally valuable object.

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WHASSUP: Memorial Day Edition

If you haven't already called in sick for the rest of the week (cough...cough) and jetted off to a tropical paradise, I have some recommendations for you that are sure to put some pep in your staycation parade. Park Slope is full of many splendors and let me tell you, this week lacks no splendor. You'll be dancing, grooving, laughing, eating, and relaxing. What's better than that?

If you are on that pimped out G6, watching Finding Nemo on a drop-down, headed somewhere I've never of—I'll assume my invitation was lost in the mail.  No hard feelings.

So what is up, you ask? Here's WHASSUP:

Thursday, 5/22, Clean Eating Support Group, Whole Foods: If you haven’t been to the new Whole Foods then you must be the boy in the bubble. Every-fucking-body has been to the new Whole Foods. The parking—atrocious. The view—Gowanus Canal. The aisles—crowded beyond compare. The selection—glorious. $15, 7pm

Friday, 5/23, The 90’s Summer Jam Sing Along, Union Hall: Who's ready for summer? I can't hear you! Spring may be too legit to quit, but it’s almost sum, sum, summertime, so come on down and rock out with your cock out. Make sure your alarm is set—you may just be saved by the bell. Whew! That’s about 90’s as I can go without hating myself. Bye, bye, bye.   $10, 9:30

Saturday, 5/24, Smokey’s Secret Family, Barbés: This cat is rad. Ever heard of Congolese rumba? No, it’s neither that insipid “dance” class at NYSC, nor the vacuum that your yappy dog has been pleasuring since last summer. It’s wrapped in African and Cuban influence and served up hot. $10, 10pm

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ICYMI: Kale Chips Graffiti Is Sweeping The Neighborhood

Image via Food52 on Instagram via GothamistPark Slope is the epicenter of the green smoothie these days. Everyone and their mother is walking around with a shot of wheatgrass or running with a carrot apple ginger kale shake in their hand while
listening to their iPod. And, for the past month and a half, someone who really loves their greens is running around Park Slope tagging "Kale Chips" on everything. And hey, all that clean living is getting them some media attention on Gothamist and News 12 Brooklyn!

Back in the 1980s, subway cars in New York City were covered in colorful graffiti. Graffiti artists risked their lives to create spectacular murals or just to sign their tags in the secret train station on 93rd Street on the 1 line. Flash forward to 2014 where the city is cleaner and full of more people wearing khakis and talking about grass fed meat. Even graffiti has taken a turn for the health food obsessed.

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Cool or Not Cool: Jonathan Safran Foer Writing For Chipotle

Image via ChipotleThere are tons of authors in Park Slope, as we know, but Jonathan Safran Foer and his wife Nicole Krauss have been our local literary darlings for some years now. This popular pair can polarize people like any successful authors, but they’ve certainly become neighborhood fixtures (that is, until someone springs for their brownstone with its astonishing backyard and they decamp to Carroll Gardens, as their plan is rumored to be). What’s had people in the neighborhood talking over the last week is that JSF’s next addition to his literary canon will be printed on fast-food packaging. Yep, the stridently vegetarian author of Eating Animals will be writing for Chipotle, a company which serves up well north of 100 million pounds of delicious meat a year.

As a recent piece in Vanity Fair recounts, Foer was in Chipotle having a burrito and was struck with such an acute sense of boredom (no book, newspaper, or smartphone apparently) that he was inspired to contact the CEO of the company about getting a gang of prominent writers together to contribute pieces to be printed on the chain’s packaging, and in doing so providing an opportunity for customers to take in some skillful prose. For example, his first piece, The Two-Minute Personality Test, is a battery of philosophical questions including ‘What is it about death that you’re afraid of?’ (not being able to get more chips and guacamole obviously, nom nom nom). He’s actually managed to enlist nine pretty awesome other people to the cause, including writers as diverse as Toni Morrison and Judd Apatow. All of the writers were paid by the way, but Chipotle won’t tell how much. Those who like to rend clothes and gnash teeth about writers becoming corporate shills may commence doing so…now.

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