Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

 

FREE: Breast Milk

Two people have mentioned to me in recent days that they thought the Craigslist Blotter is cute. Must have been the pussy couch from last week. So we're starting with a strange post as part of our new keep Craigslist Weird campaign. Free titty juice. I have a strong aversion to the act of breast feeding. Is it because of my gross oversexualization of women and their parts? Probably. I can be a revolting human being at times. Hasn't science passed this by though?  Wasn't that Honey Boo Boo raised on Mountain Dew? She's famous now. Really, I think breast feeding children could be holding them back. 

COMMUNITY: Dog runner

Here me now and believe me later. Your dog is flabby. What will it look like when it shaves its hair off and oils its body before competitions? Its puny muscles need to be worked. This lady is here to pump your dog up. I know. Let's move on shall we?

ADOPT: Sting the Cat

We stay away from the adoption posts. Or free dog posts or whatever. This one we had to share though. Sting, the kitten got trapped on a roof. It survived only on the hot dogs thrown at it by tenants from the higher building next door! That's basically the plot of the Hangover, bro. Hopefully there will not be any sequels this time.

EVENT: Hustle Dance Party

Um. What's hustle dancing? Sounds sexy…oh it's a disco thing. Think this would be a good place to sell cocaine?  I'm just kidding. Everywhere is a good place to sell cocaine. That shit is BACK. Been back, man. This event will be over by the time you read this but stay tuned for the next one!

MISSED CONNECTION: To Myself

I got excited because I thought this was a real life body swap story. Freak Friday style. But no. This is just an obnoxious Brooklyn lady. This girl feels like she woke up a different person so she's sending out a missed connection…to herself. Wonder if it was before or after a text message asking her parents for money? That gluten free life is expensive. She ends by asking if she should go to church. Hopefully she does and they perform an exorcism on her.

MISSED CONNECTION:  PSFC

There are two Park Slope Food Coop missed connections this week! Wonder whose shifts they were covering. Kidding! They were both sweet, simple messages. This one was my favorite so we're going with it. We all toast jarritos and tequila to your good luck!