BREAKING: Shake Shack Coming To BK!!?

Please, gawd, let this shit be TRUE.

The Daily News says that its def awn (and goin down at the Fulton Street mall), but then the Brooklyn Heights Blog reports it *may* be on.

But also, are we all still pretending that the Fulton Street mall is really gonna reinvent itself?? Eh fuck it...who cares. As long as I've got a decent place to get a burg, all y'all can go fuck yourselves.

KIDS EAT FOR FREE! [SCOTTADITO HEARTS YOUR KIDS]

It's Tuesday night and you've just left the COOP with a bunch of healthy crap you don't really know how to cook with. You're all: wtf now? I just want to eat some "harvested" and "sourced" food, GOD. 

The good news is Scottadito is right next door! The bad news is that it will probs be a total freak show, filled with a bunch of little kids eating each others boogers and peeing in their pants all over the place. Scottadito lets kids eat for free on Tuesdays, and apparently this shit's been going down for six years!

Man...as if kids don't get everything else handed to them on a plate already, at Scottadito, IT'S FOR REAL.

Fuck them. I am totally bringing my baby there, getting him a bunch of free shit, and then eating it while he sits there and watches in his stroller.

On the upside, Scottadito must be a total safe zone for BALLERS every other night of the week. Do you guys know what other restos in the nabe that do this kids eat free thing? I want to go to them all immeds.

Bagel Market: A Quickie Review

image: BrownstonerSo, despite my La Bagel loyalties, I thought I owed it to you guys to drag my fat ass over to Bagel Market this weekend to try shit out at their grand opening.

The traditionalist in me wanted to hate them...but I just couldn't. I mean, I didn't totally love them either, but we're officially in like.

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EAT IT: Freddy's Is Back and Bagel Market is OPEN

Here's what's been goin down...IN YOUR MOUFS.

+ JUST SIGNED THE LEASE: A reason to root for the Nets: they kicked out Freddy’s Bar from Prospect Heights, but ONTBKB reports Freddy’s will be reopening South Slope-style, on 5^th between 17^th & 18^th. 

+ EXPANDING: JH Market on 7^th between 11^th & 12^th is getting bigger and better, and changing their name to The Bad Wife. Ooh, naughty. They’ll be closed for two weeks while they expand into the adjacent storefront.

+ SNORE: An Italian place will be taking up the spot at 140 7^th Ave...file this under Who Gives A Shit? Perhaps Park Slope Neighbors should start a new campaign against the opening of any more pizza-pasta places taking up valuable real estate that could go to, I don’t know, ANY OTHER TYPE OF FOOD. My vote would be an actually Mexican-run Mexican non-fancy-bistro type place.

+ BUT YOU CAN’T HAVE TOO MANY BAGELS: Therefore, all hail the grand opening of Bagel Market, on 7^th at President. Apparently they had balloons and face painting, so hopefully all you BALLERS avoided that shit. avoid until next week if you don’t have a bebe in tow.

+ MORE, PLEASE! Finally, a lady with a plan and a cooler full of empanadas! According to The Brooklyn Paper Valeria is selling some unlicensed, and therefore even more delicious, Argentinean specialties while on the prowl weekends in Prospect Park. I would also like to see this in grilled cheese and French crepe, kthnx.

Mama Rosa vs. FIPS: The Battle Rages On

Fuck it...the gloves are officially OFF ppl.

So, a few weeks ago I wrote a rather scathing review of the new latin food eatery Mama Rosa. While I didn't hold back, I gave an honest (read: UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE) account of what went down that night. And let's just say shit was very much not pretty.

I thought that would be the end of it, but alas, the internet does NOT disappoint yet again.

Allow me to re-introduce you to Weird Watier and Crystal Necklace dude. I'm not sure how deeply entrenched these fine fellows are in the Mama Rosa empire, but needless to say: they're both pretty damn chatty. And if you think they're leaving notes of apology, think again:

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