I Came, I Saw, I Ate Pork: Bacon Takedown

Before you get all worried about how I'm gonna survive this attack of the bacon, let me assure you that I already have set appointments this week with my dietitian, my nutritionist, my naturopath, my personal trainer, and my cardiologist has a defibrillator on standby in case shit goes south. Now some basic stats about the Bacon Take-Down that went down this Sunday at The Bell House:

• there were 21 varieties of bacon dishes
• total amount of bacon consumed: 300 lbs

It basically went down like this: you eat a shit-ton of bacon:

Gabi Porter for MetromixJust when you think it's over, THINK AGAIN. There's more bacon.

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EAT IT: Park Slope Resto News

Here's what's been goin down...IN YOUR MOUFS.

OPENINGS:

+ What was that? Were you asking why Park Slope doesn’t have any sit-down, wood-burning, pizza-bar-café-type restaurants? Not to worry! Innovative minds have just put up a sign that “Pete’s Pizzeria” will be opening at 289 5^th Ave by end of the year, next to about a bazillion identical places (via Here Is Park Slope).

+ Expect an upcoming report on some asshole opening a spaghetti taqueria here next. God, kids are so fucking disgusting (via NYT).

CLOSINGS:

No official word, but Total Wine Bar just hasn’t been open in a while…(via Brownstoner).

Park Slope Billiards is GAME OVER at 550 5^th Ave (Here is Park Slope).

OTHER COOL DINING SHIT GOING DOWN IN THE SLOPE:

Actually, Gowanus. Wait, really? Yeah, really, Gowanus. Pie for dinner, with beer pairings, for a $45 three-courses at Four & Twenty Blackbirds. And you should probably sign up now for November 7, because October 24 is already sold out.

Hammers-n-Hancos

Uh oh. Looks like someone's tried to break into Park Slope's smelliest Vietnamese sandwich shop over the weekend. 

Maybe the Hancos vs. Henrys war stopped being polite and started getting real?

We commend their crowdsourced approach to justice...anyone have scoop?

UPDATE: I RETRACT ANYTHING POSITIVE I SAID ABOUT PROVINI

Last year around this time, Provini was getting a heavy dosage of haterade from Yelp because they reportedly told a baby-toting customer that Provini was "not a kid-friendly restaurant."

Since I hate having a screaming child ruin my meal because their oblivious parents couldn't be bothered to fucking, you know, PARENT their kids, I wrote a praise-filled post on here titled, "Provini Hates Kids?  I Love Provini." 

For those of you who read the blog regularly, you know that the content up in here is about 90% negative and 10% positive, so it was a big deal when I went out on a limb to give kudos to a restaurant that would show such blatant disregard for the neighborhood's baby-friendly, high chair-supplying status quo.  "Fuck yeah," I said.  "I can go to Provini and not have to deal with 10 million crying babies!  Hooray!" 

Well, mark your fucking calendars, because today is the day that I do something I haven't done in a very long time.  That's right.  Here is where I admit I was wrong. 

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BREAKING: LA TAQUERIA DUNZO

photo: BrownstonerWell, if you don't belive in the careful, fragile balance of the universe, clearly your ass hasn't taken a look around Park Slope recently. Because apparently there is a new mutant force in play in our neighborhood and it works like this: for every new restaurant, one must close. The latest victim: La Taqueria.

From FIPS reader Ben:

"Walked by La Taq [yesterday] morning on 7th Ave. and there's a sign in the window saying the restaurant/bar part is closing for good. The takeout area will remain open. I wonder if the costs of keeping up with the Department of Health got to them? Hear anything about this one?"

And here's the thread on Brooklynian. Never ones to disappoint, the Brooklynian posters delved right on into attacking the owners, and then fighting over whether or not attacking the owners was "harsh" or not. Goddammit I love that site.

Anyway.

Au revoir, La Taq! (kinda!)