Do you Eat? If Yes, Then You Should Sign-Up For Eaters Digest NYC

Do you like...food?

Do you like...drinks?

Alrighty then, you wanna run (don't walk...walking is for pussies) on over to sign-up for the latest, hottest, bad-assed NYC newsletter: Eaters Digest NYC.

You know how you're currently signed up to like 17 billion foodie-licious emails...and now you're just kind of ignoring them all? Well, now you can pretty much hit UNSUBSCRIBE, cause you've got EDNYC!

Here's what you need to know about EDNYC:

1. It's free.
2. It's a weekly, comprehensive round-up of allllll the cool shit (and we mean ALL) that has anything and everything to do with food, foodies, drinks, cooking, baking, pig roasts, EVERYTHING.
3. Emails hit your inbox on Thursdays...you know, before you get your weekend jam on.
4. If you want it, you gotta subscribe...sorry, ppl, that's how this shit works.
5. THEY ARE CO-SPONSORING THE SECOND ANNUAL NAUGHTY OFFICE HOLIDAY PARTY WITH US! DID YOU GET YOUR TIX YET??

Cool, right?? And soon they'll even be offering all sorts of special deals and discounts.

And if you have some food-ish event comin up that you want included in EDNYC, no problemo...just go here to submit the deets.

OPEN POST: The Weekend That Was

Hey party ppl: you know how we do these open post-y thingamijiggys? Well here's another one. Only before you guys go off in the comms, I was gonna open post my damn self, cause I got a lotz on my mind:

+ I AM NOW A FIOS CUSTOMER! AND I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH! Btchz have left comments and twatted me about how the service is only "marginally" better and the customer service is worse, and I'm sorry: I just don't buy it. The installer showed up on time on the day of our appt, did a phenomenal job, and at the last minute when something wasn't working and I needed to leave for an appt, the dude made me take down HIS PERSONAL NUMBER in case something came up and I needed some more help!!?? Then Verizon called the NEXT DAY to see how everything was going!!?? If Verizon never ever ever gives me good customer service again, this whole experience thus far will STILL add up to way more great customer service than I have ever rec'd throughout the entirety of my Time Warner relationship over the past 11 years. Oh, and also I now have approximately 11 billion channels...for less money. BOOYAH.

+ I received the following email on Friday evening:

Your Name: Rosa
Your Email: mamarosalatino@gmail.com
Subject: Contact for suggestions and complaints

Message: On behalf of Mama Rosa Latino, I am asking our dear clientele to write to us at:

mamarosalatino@gmail.com

to make any suggestions or complaints, so we can grow with your constructive feedback.

We like to hear from you soon and hope to see you at our restaurant, where everybody is welcomed and appreciated.

Sincerely,
Mama Rosa Owners

Uhm...dear Mama Rosa owners: I wrote out a rather long and detailed account of my first and last dinner at your restaurant. Not quite sure how "constructive" my criticism was, but if you'd genuinely like to "hear" from me, have it. Also, pls say hi to Weird Waiter and Crystal Necklace Dude for me...I really miss those guys.

+ There was a gigantic fucking fire in S. Slope on Friday. Thankfully, none of the families living above the Asssociated Supermarket that caught on fire were there at the time, but 10 of them have been displaced and have no place to live now. So if you're not a total asshole, you should go make a donation to the Red Cross and help em out.

+ I went to Comida, aka Playa 2.0 this weekend with Greg and NineDaves...and it was pretty friggin epic. We didn't have a ton to eat (mostly just a bunch of apps and sides), but still the food was really good and the service was great and also we had this pot de creme chocolate pudding dessert that I am still dreaming about any time I close my eyes. I still think Fonda is better, but also that shit is like 20 blocks away for me. So yeah...Comida! I will be back!

+ I'm on a mission to catalog all of the Basset Hounds in Park Slope. Know any? If so, leave a comment. And if you own a Basset and live in Park Slope (or know someone who does), email me at effedinparkslope at gmail dot com with the name of the Basset and a photo (or a link to one), as well as whether you live in N. or S. Slope.

+ Is the Real Housewvies of Beverly Hills not the best damn thing you've ever seen on TV?? And how good is Vampire Diaries this season!?

OK, your turn. Go crazy! Whassup? Have at it!

Comida Consensus?

That joint Comida, aka Playa 2.0 is allegedly open.

The reviews on Yelp are already rolling in, and thus far, we've got ourselves a combo platter of love/hate goin on. It's srsly kinda weird...either the place gets 5 stars or 1 star, with nothing in between.

Here's some good:

"The food and drinks we got were delicious. We tried the frozen margaritas which were great, as was the local beer selection."

"For main course I ordered the Comida Pollo (specialty of the house chicken dish).   You won't find a better tasting chicken anywhere in the City, trust me--juicy and the spices were so good.  My friends had the chicken enchiladas and also the Comida Pollo.  Everybody loved their dishes.  The sauce (mole) on those enchiladas was to die for!  I'll try that next time."

"This place is no Mezcals, that's for sure.  This is quality, well-prepared authentic Mexican food.  We ordered the calamari, which was tasty and served with an avocado sauce and a chipotle sauce; as well as the cauliflower fritters which were delicious and served in a tomatillo sauce."

And some bad:

"While they're aiming for a finer dining experience in terms of price/ambiance, the flavor and quality of the food is definitely lacking. The three of us left feeling a little queasy from the grease with a firm decision to not return."

"After an hour and a quarter wait - during which our kept waiter promising us that our "food will be right out" - we were told that our order had been "lost."  Somewhere out on The Island, Jin cried, "Hurley, hurry!"

HAAA! Yay for a Lost reference.

Personally, I'm still open to trying Comida as WTF else am I gonna do?--Obvies Mama Rosa is out. But then I read this little kicker at the end of one of the bad reviews:

"As for the ambiance, the vibe at Comida resembled that of a dimly-lit daycare.  There were little children running amok like an out of control flock of sheep on the prairie, knocking over chairs and touching everything, including my legs."

Yeesh.

Any of you btchz been?? Good? Bad? Ugly?

(via Brooklynian)

FILTH IN PARK SLOPE: RESTAURANT HEALTH GRADES TRICKLE IN

My least favorite website in the world, worse than fucking Jezebel, is that Health Department site where you search for your favorite restaurants and find out they all have rats. 

Now, the ONLY good thing about this website is that YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT -- So needless to say I was a little ambivalent this past summer when I heard about the Health Department's plan to make you look at their restaurant ratings by requiring owners to post them in their entrance windows. 

Here was my concern: Maybe publicly-displayed restaurant health grades are like those horrendous calorie counts on FIVE GUYS' menus, or like the details of the water-boarding process that the US government uses to keep us safe: Maybe I'm just WAY happier not knowing!

So while walking up and down 7th ave over the last couple of months, I've been somewhat hesitant to look too closely at restaurant windows: I've started to dread, somewhat, the impending letter-grade invasion.

Especially in the last few weeks, I've definitely noticed that the placards are starting to trickle in. It doesn't seem all that bad yet, but maybe that's because there's one unsettling factor that keeps it from seeming real: How come all the ratings I've seen are just a bunch of fucking A's!? Why isn't even the shittiest Mexican rat-hole sporting AT LEAST a goddamn B?

Well TODAY I discovered the answer, thanks to the NY Post's hard-hitting coverage of VerminGate.  (Shocking spoiler: Restaurants have accidentally been forgetting to post their shiny-new 'C' letter-grade certificates in storefront windows next to their 'Zagat-rated' plaques and take-out menus.) 

So for the sake of journalism, as much as it makes my nuts hurt to read about how the food I eat is  prepared in rodent-excrement, I just HAD to go back to my least-favorite website to see what these Park Slope fuckers have been hiding.

Here's a listing of the Park Slope results carrying the biggest WOW factor; not the ones that are necessarily the WORST, but more like unexpected twists of surprise, e.g. "WOW, "Sette" is a rat-hole?" or "DAMN, PURITY diner is getting a mutherfuckin A*??"

*Speaking of Purity diner, more on that scene after the jump...

Click to read more ...

EAT IT: King of Cupcakes Blows & SOUPPPPPP!

photo via: Here's Park slopeHere's what's been goin down...IN YOUR MOUFS.

+ The King of Cupcakes, at 240 7th Ave: I will pay $3.25 for a Sprinkles or Magnolia cupcake, but those look delicious, taste delicious, and, oh yeah, they're big enough to be visible. The King wants to charge you $2.75 PLUS TAX (huh? on a baked good? huh?) for a total of $2.99 for a miniature version ("The Prince") of what is, duh, already a miniaturized item. The reviews are in on Brooklynian, if you want to hear from anyone optimistic enough to actually buy these things. The King size, which is no fun if you want to sample multiple flavors, goes for just a hair over $4 with tax. I went by three times this weekend and still could not convince myself to drop cash on cupcakes I could barely see. These are decidedly smaller than the cups of your muffin pan at home. Plus the frosting-to-cake ratio, unlike most other places, leans far into the too-little category (like, lots of naked cake) and they looked kind of melty. (What is up with Park Slope's failure to serve cupcakes at proper temperature? LadyBird serves them straight from a refrigerated section, even if you say you're eating it right then.) PASS! The King does have a handful of gelato varieties, including pumpkin, which I sampled and it was meh, and some cheesecake slices that looked decent enough. [ed note: I tried these bitches on the night of Halloween, and I agree completely: the cake to frosting ratio is COMPLETELY unacceptable! I do not, I repeat DO NOT want any visible cake on my cupcake. In fact, I want the frosting to be so plentiful, that thing needs to be hard to lift. These things could not have been more mediocre...they are what the word "meh" was invented for].

+ Crespella Crepe & Espresso Bar, next to the F/G stop on 7th Ave: They currently do coffees, sweet crepes, and a selection of Robicelli's cupcakes. The guys at the counter were really friendly and told me that in the next week or so Crespella will debut a chickpea flour-based batter for savory crepes, so I might go back to try those, or one of the sweet ones.

+ IF YOU WANNA GET SOPHISTICATED 'N' SHIT: There's a new little euro cafe in town, Venticinque at 162 5th Ave. Drink lots of Italian stuff. Wear black.

+ ANOTHER PLACE TO GET DRUNK AND LOOK CLASSY: Soigne Restaurant and Wine Bar will open December 1st in the former Magnolia space at 486 6th Ave.

+ OMG YOU GUYS, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!: A pizza--no, no, you read that right--a pizza joint will be taking over 140 7th Ave!!!! Finally some g-d- 'za in this g-d- nabe!!! Here's Park Slope reports that at least the pizza is not supposed to be all that bad--an outpost of Gino's in Bayside. On Yelp Gino's has half-a-star-higher ratings even than VIPizza in Bayside, which is srsly great, so maybe i'll be tempted to try it...if i haven't already walked by one million other pizza places. No word yet on opening day.

+ GET YER HOT SOUP: The Soup Bowl is replacing Uncle Louie G's ice cream at 321 7th Ave from now until March. Supposed to be some pretty gourmet shizz, but let's hope they don't forget about Italian Wedding!

+ SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT: The pizza rustica slice (which is basically a quiche) at Brooklyn Larder on Flatbush. HOLY FUCK. I mean, jesus. This is some fucking delicious $%#&^@! 

+ SPECIAL PLEA: Yes, cupcake truck, I saw you on 7th the other day. Yes, fro-yo truck, I saw you too. Though I'm not particularly keen on eating either of you out of a truck, I would like to see more of you. I would like to see a Dosa truck, and maybe once in a while a street gyros that does not taste like barf rolled up with mayonaisse tzatziki in a pita. Like, a flaming saganaki truck would be awesome in Park Slope.