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Entries in Breeder vs. Baller (38)

Wednesday
May122010

Fornino Doesn't Have A Kid's Menu [OH YES THEY DO]

UPDATE: Gothamist just alerted us to the fact that Fornino caved ALREADY.  Calling all BALLERS: Abort mission! Fornino is now *off* our officially approved BALLER list.

So I was browsing through the reviews of Fornino on Yelp yesterday and I noticed a potential BREEDER rage trend.

Mostly people liked it pretty ok. I mean, there was some bitching about how it was way too hyped up, and that the service was a bit uneven, but also there was an underlying theme of frustration over the fact that there was no kids menu:

"There is no children's menu.  16 buckaroos for 8 ravioli, and 12 for plain papardelle for the one of the kids."

and this:

"My issue is the menu.  I'm sure this place does awesome in hipster W'burg, but in breeder Park Slope, this menu has issues.  There are no "simple" menu items I could order since of course last night was the night my son decided to be picky.  I wasn't looking for chicken fingers and french fries, but maybe a basic pasta I could order as an app would have worked."

and this from Twitter:

"Awesome, but not so great for the breeder. My kids had trouble picking from the menu."

Verrrry innneresting. I wonder if its gonna be a too bad, so sad approach (a la Provini), or is Fornino gonna cave and add chicken fingers to the menu?

Only time will tell, but for now I'm gonna go ahead and add Fornino to our BALLER approved list of restaurants.

Monday
Apr192010

THE BALLER VERSION OF HELL

BREEDERS, ever wonder what the BALLER version of hell on Earth is?  Sing-a-long hour at the Tea Lounge? The Seventh Avenue Halloween parade?  No.  It is called YMCA Healthy Kids Day.  And holy shit is it frightening.

I dragged my ass out of bed to get in my Saturday AM workout at the Armory - you know, the one place where I can clear my head and pretend no one else exists - and walked through the door to this fucking rugrat jamboree.  I may have seen my dating life flash before my eyes, a chorus of animated diapers chanting, "Single girl, you are no longer welcome."

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Apr082010

BALLERS AS Parenting Gurus?

In the wake of my little Park Slope Parents kerfuffle, all I have left for my predatory journalistic trolling is you losers.

So, I was thinking: with all the unsolicited parenting advice you BALLER know-it-alls like to dole out, I’d see what actual discipline tips you have for the put-upon BREEDERS of our noble nabe.

I know how you feel about the baby barfly issue...and the gigantic SUV strollers.

But what, as impartial observers and adult children, can you advise us on when it comes to raising the people who will be running the planet when you get too old to do it yourself. It’s in our common interest to raise them right, right?

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb232010

Heaven or Hell?: Lake Huntington Summer Community

Regarding the #13 (apt numbering) purchase on Erica's list of recent United Methodist book sale booty: The Explorer's Guide: Hudson Valley & Catskill Mountains - "I have regular, ridiculous fantasies of buying a little weekend house somewhere, and this book  has a great roundup of lots of little towns in the Catskills" she said.

I think it might be time to take your dogfight upstate straight into the belly of the beast, the motherlode of summer breeding grounds for Park Slopers: The Lake Huntington Summer Community.

Click to read more ...

Monday
Feb222010

SMACKDOWN: BREEDER v. BALLER [Give Peace A Chance?]

I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself last week to blog, but I guess I'm going to have to wade into the fray on this "we love to hate BREEDERS" fest goin on (thanks, Erica, for that home delivery potline number. It took the edge off.)

To my point... Why can't we all just get along?

I love you single, kid-free and loving it folks. I love you Erica and @KarynMurph, wherever you are (ed. note: she's in THAILAND! Being a BALLER!). I love you, sleep-deprived beset-upon BREEDERS of Park Slope. Yes you, helicopterbreeder and brklynmind. Maybe even Nunzio (ok, not really Nunzio. Though I really want to because I like his name so much). I love robnyc and gogogowanus for their always pitch perfect comments and genuine BALLER dispositions.

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