BALLER RAGE

So Denise Albert has some pretty major Mommy Rage issues she's contending with. Her rant on Metro this morning is literally EVERYWHERE (I read about it on Gothamist), and thus far people aren't exactly taking to her shit too kindly (as per u, best stuff is in the comments).

Anyway.

Here's the thing, Denise: I can totally relate to what you're going through! It's not exactly the easiest thing in the world to be a BALLER either, and sometimes I wish people would just, you know, be a little bit more understanding and offer me some special consideration. It's hard out here for a pimp!

So yeah, I decided to rewrite your entire opinion piece from a non-breeder's perspective, and I rully rully hope you like it! I tried to stay mostly true to form, so shitty sentence structure and the like is, of course, still yours!:

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UWS v. Park Slope: The DINK'S Perspective

image via Curbed

Ok, so this was kind of an entertaining read.

Basically two gay DINKS are considering moving from the UWS to a brownstone in Park Slope, and asked the community on Brownstoner if they thought that was a good idea or not.

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Merry Fucking Christmas, BALLERS!

You people suck. Literally (or so I hear), and figuratively.

While you're busy BALLING and beauty sleeping, we parents are suffering.

4 fucking 36 am: an ungodly hour that will live on in infamy in my house, for this is the exact time my bleary eyes registered as my rug rat woke us up with a joyous shout of “Merry Christmas” and demanded that we come open presents immediately.

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Who Gives A Shit: Are We Still *Really* Talking About Babies In Bars?

Yes, bitches....yes we are.

Sorry, but we just can't help ourselves. Espesh when we receive calls for help, like the following from a "Concerned South Sloper" DINK:

Soooooo.......

My wife and I dropped by the Dram Shop on Saturday afternoon to overload on greasy food and beer on a shit-er-iffic day.  All was nice and quiet (aside from the earsplitting music) with just the two of us and one other couple indulging in fried deliciousness and hoppy goodness.  All of the sudden, 3 different FAMILIES walk in with kids in tow.  So now we are treated to screaming kids playing shuffle board and dads talking in their dad voices until we finally just decided to give up and leave.

What the eff is that?  The last time I checked it was called Dram Shop BAR.  It is never okay to bring kids to a bar, right?  Am I crazy or something?

-Concerned South Sloper

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BREEDER VS. BALLER: The "Predators" Among Us

Each week Once in a blue moon, we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom/dad) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched.

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