[Trying To Get Fucked In Park Slope] Wing Woman

Oh hi. Remember how we used to have that lil ole column about some anon single dude in Park Slope who was always trying to find love get fucked? Well, yeah...it's back. Only now we have a single chick instead of a single dude and spoiler alert: she's way the hell more interesting. Behold, the old new adventures of M.F., trying to get fucked in good ole Park Slope.

Hey guys, do you find yourselves constantly rejected by the women you want to date?
Does it seem impossible to make that tough transition from platonic pal into fellated fellow?
Do you have at least 20 dollars (American)?

If you answered "yes" to at least one of these questions, then we have a solution for you...

A Wing Woman!

Click to read more ...

Just In Case You Were Too Busy Having Sex in Prospect Park...

...to check Missed Connections, I come as the bearer of some extremely important information:

To the girl who was having sex with her bf in Prospect Park... - m4w - 24 (Park Slope)

Date: 2010-11-10, 6:27PM EST

I think it was like two weeks ago. I liked what I saw. Of you at least. Didn't care much for the guy in uniform. I wish I could have a go at you. You were so hot. Let me know when you ditch him and ready for a real man. I'm into doing in at spontaneous places like that.

So...that. Claim your prize here.

FIPS GETS FUCKED: AN EXPLANATION

Oh hai everybody.

If you happened to reach this site because you were looking for Free Porn, Free Sex Stories or Gay Porn Videos, I'm sorry to say that this url has beeen re-re-directed back to that whiny, know-it-all, annoying blog about all the insufferable people who live here in Park Slope, BK. Sorry to disappoint!

I guess I owe an apology to Enheightened, a Newbie on Brooklynian who had been "eagerly awaiting the news" of our demise. And let's not forget about Former Effed Reader from South Slope who thinks "Ms. Reitman's commentary is as lame as her domain registering skills."...or Dave from Park Slope who had this to say: "actually the new site is a lot more interesting, and the absence of hyper-annoying smugness is a breath of fresh air" in the comments of the Brooklyn Paper post.

Yes, indeedy: I regret to inform all of my frenemies near-n-far that FIPS IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERZZZZZ!

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FIPS GETS FUCKED: A PICTORIAL RETROSPECTIVE

I firmly believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and so when my site got jacked for 36 hours and turned into a parked porn domain, I decided that the universe was sending me a message and that that message was: LOOK AT PORN.

Never one to let an opportunity pass me by, I clicked...and I clicked HARD. And, wozers, I found some seriously interesting shit. If you wanna come on this porny journey with me, click read more, but be aware that if you do, YOU WILL SEE PORN.

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American Men Are Bad in Bed. Or, Not As Good As They Think.

Hold the presses. Per serious research (via Gawker), you men aren't quite the studs you like to think.

According to the findings of a gynormous new national sex survey by Indiana University's oddly-named Center for Sexual Health Promotion, "eighty-five percent of American men say the last person they had sex with had an orgasm. And yet, only 64 percent of American women say they had an orgasm the last time they had sex." 

Per Gawker...

What are men doing wrong? Besides being really gullible? According to the survey, "women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse is included," so maybe, you know, uh, switch it up a little more. You know, in bed. If you catch my drift. Sexually. 

As always, the comments make for titillating reading and BLAME the women. What would be the protocol here for keeping your partner informed?

Chestrockwell: If a guy can't seem to hit the spot, she needs to vocalize the problem. Not all men are mind readers. 

SuffersFoolsGladly: Yo, some of this is the fault of we women for all the polite faking some of us do in order to boost men's egos. In addition, many of us just don't come out and tell the poor guys what makes us feel good. 

lbwilliams: If they're not as good as you want them to be, then you're not telling them how you want it. If they're still not as good as you want them to be, it's time to find someone or someTHING else. 

Chazz: these comments have officially given me a boner.

So, we're awash in Europeans lately. Are American dudes any worse in bed than your menfolk?