Missed Connections: Anyone Wanna Play Doctor with a Doctor?

 Another day, another sex-starved Sloper takes to Craigslist to try to solicit some alone time with your genitals.  But like our fave PS Dad, this guy isn't looking for one specific lovely lady--hell, as long as you're short, cute, and D&D free, he's ready for you!

anyone wanna play doctor with a doctor? - m4w - 30 (park slope)

I'm an overworked and undersexed doctor. I work long hours and have little time in the end to expend in finding a partner. I have little tolerance for finding dates in bars or on match.com. Maybe you're in a similar situation only not a doctor. Maybe we can do something about it. So let's cut through all the romance and courting and get straight to the action. I can even play the part with my scrubs and stethoscope. Or maybe you're not in a similar situation but always wanted to play with a doctor.

I think I'm pretty average looking. 5'8" and 160lbs. Relatively sane. And d&d free.

Please be d&d free. Extra points if you're short and cute. Looking for someone in and near park slope.

Email me with a pic if interesteed.

Totally ignoring how proud this dude could potentially make my Jewish grandmother (Relatively sane? What more could a gal want?), I figured I'd be the dating fairy godblogger for all six of you single girls who read this thing.  So, who's suddenly feeling like she needs to get that nasty hacking cough checked out?  Make an appointment with yer very own Park Slope McDreamy. 

WHO GIVES A SHIT: PEEP-O-RAMA?!

I had a special request from FIPS BALLER-with-a-vengeance JakeTaylor to make the blog especially un-kid friendly today.  His specific requests involved booze and sex and boobs, and while I'm no good in the booze department, sex and boobs are something I can definitely handle.

So, with that in mind, I'm sorta curious: What's the most voyeuristic thing you've seen from your window in the Slope?

I've never actually witnessed anything egregious (though what I've heard through my own apartment walls is another story entirely), but tend to forget that my curtains are sort of sheer.  Neighbors, if you're reading this, I really, really apologize, by the way.  Anyway, even though we kinda know that no one's doin' it in the Slope, serve up your sexy stories on this lovely Friday.

Ridin' the STF-Train

Click to enlarge, buds.

I don't have to tell you twice that I fucking love sitting on Missed Connections.  (Which, as I remain single becomes increasingly sadder, but we won't really deal with that right now, k?)  Trolling last night--for you guys, of course--I landed on this (unsanitary) shit:

"After a bumpy ride from Bed Bath and Beyond, I sat down in front of you. You got a little too close, but I figured it was because the train was getting crowded.  The crowd eased up a bit, and so did you.  You grabbed yourself once.  You grabbed yourself twice.  I figured you were sweaty.  You grabbed yourself a third, fourth, a fifth time. I figured you were REALLY sweaty.  You grabbed yourself a sixth and seventh time.  I thought you had a STD.  You grabbed yourself an eighth, ninth and finally tenth time - all between Smith and Ninth Street and Fourth Avenue.  I know you have an STD.  I know you are a creep. You got off at 7th Avenue, or maybe earlier."

I also know I don't have to tell you twice how much the F train causes me intense pain, though, apparently, not as much pain as this dude is going through.  I would like to add that ladies as a whole are not staring at your shit, but if you stick it in our faces, you leave us with no choice.

So, which one of you is the STD-infested creepy crotch grabber?  And, who of you have gotten an STD from him?  Not this chick, with her AP-style honed omission of the Oxford Comma, that's for sure.

Remember kids, use a condom. 

SWM's of Park Slope: Fashion Trends to AVOID If You Ever Want To Get Laid Again

I had a spectacular lunch out yesterday with my boys, marred only by my irrational, instantaneous aversion to our waiter for the vain fool I pegged him for, purely on the basis of that snidely whiplash stache he was sporting.

My friend D: I know exactly which waiter you're talking about... We thought he was a moonlighting porn star... We were calling him "Buck Johnson"...

I was thinking more latter-day Village People.

Lately I can’t get down the streets of our great hood but for the mustaches.

If I’ve actually noticed this trend, I’m hoping it’s almost over. Because it’s a deal breaker! Very few dudes can carry off the mustache with panache and let me tell you, the rest of you look like potential stalkers and flashers, even if it is IRONY you are going for.

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Celebrity Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky [The Park Slope Edition?]

Oh to be a fly on the wall of the pitch meeting for this show. Please tell me it’s coming to a TV screen near me.

Wait.

It IS a show (Ed note: and I've watched every. single. episode).

BWAHAHAHAHA (me channeling Erica).

I mean, what’s the current count of famous and semi-famous dudes who can’t keep their flies zipped? This latest Sandra Bullock’s really quite unattractive husband and the tattooed ladies flap has put me past my limit. I think I’m approaching 20 in the last year or so.

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