BK MEATUP: This Shit Works, People [Sassy Slut Edition]

Ok, so ICYMI, the singles event of the season, the Naughty Office Party themed Holiday BK Meatup, is TOMORROW NIGHT at the Bell House. If you don't already have your ticket, you need to GET. ONE. NOWWWWW. Because this Meatup shit works!

In today's installment, we catch up with *Lilly, our "sassy slut"(her words, bitches...not ours) (*yeah, Lilly isn't her real name b/c, believe it or not, "sassy slut" is not the sort of bullet point recruiters look for on a resume, and Lilly needs herself a J OH B pronto).

Anyway.

Let's catch up with the Lillsters and hear all about her experience at the first BK Meatup:

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BK MEATUP: THIS SHIT WORKS, PEOPLE [TRUE LURV EDITION]

Ok, so ICYMI, the singles event of the season, the Naughty Office Party themed Holiday BK Meatup, is *this* Wednesday at the Bell House. If you don't already have your ticket, you need to GET. ONE. NOWWWWW.

Why? You might be wondering? What's the rush? Is it really worth it?

YES, MOTHERFUCKERS! IT'S REALLY WORTH IT! DO YOU WANT TO MEET SOMEONE? DO YOU WANT TO GET LAID?? DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE TO LIGHT THE MENORAH WITH THIS YEAR?? DO YOU WANT TO SAVE $5? (tix are $10 ahead of time and $15 at the door! You got money to burn??).

BECAUSE THIS MEATUP SHIT WORKS!

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BK MEATUP: 'Have Young People Been Scared Away From Office Sex?'

NY Mag is totally wondering.

But based on the raunchy photocopies that have been rolling on in (fax us now, people! 646-964-6540) I'm gonna offer up a pre-emptive no. At least not at our Naughty Office Party Holiday Meatup.

Does that count?

Get your tix, people...you gotta be in it to win it and these mofos are going like hotcakes (take a chance on you).

BK Holiday Meatup

Wednesday, December 9th

7-11pm

The Bell House

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BK HOLIDAY MEATUP! OUR NAUGHTY OFFICE PARTY WILL BE BETTER THAN YOURS [TRUST]

Calling all single bros and bitches: you asked, and we answered. Behold!: The BK Holiday Meatup!

Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©), cordially invites all of your asses to their annual (as of this year) naughty holiday office party, on Weds, December 9th at the Bell House.

That's right, people...for those of you who didn't get married/engaged/hook'd up/laid by enough random strangers since our last wildly successful Meatup in October, we've got another one for you to try your luck at.

In case you're not in the know, a Meatup actually has fuck all to do with meat (though, hello, we WILL have Asia Dog rockin their truck outside this time!). A Meatup is a hybrid of a Sat night, club crowd, I wore my nice undies just in case "untz untz" meat market and a chill, BK, "everyone is wearing glasses that make them look like an indie filmmaker but I love it anyway" meetup all rolled into one. Translation: the opportunities for getting laid will be epic.

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Where For Art Thou, 32-Year-Old Park Slope Sex Diarist Dude?

Oh fun! Let's all try to guess who the weekly NY Mag sex diary dude is!

He's a 32-year-old straight grad student living in Park Slope with an annoying roommate and an online dating profile. He basically spends the week trying to have sex with a variety of chicks who have zero interest in him before he decides to fuck an old sex buddy who's totally interested in him--only, SURPIRSE! He's not interested in her.

Fucking hell.

Anyway, aside from that, literally nothing happens. The dude can't even motivate to jerk off while his roommate and her lame ass boyfriend are out at a romantic dinner at La Villa or some shit. AND, apparently he doesn't study at all.

I'm stumped (and bored). Anyone?

(And, duh, if you *actually* do know him, don't use his name in the comments. Though feel free to dish any anonymous juicy details you might have about the dude since, quite frankly, I can't handle any more boring ones).