Where For Art Thou, 32-Year-Old Park Slope Sex Diarist Dude?

Oh fun! Let's all try to guess who the weekly NY Mag sex diary dude is!

He's a 32-year-old straight grad student living in Park Slope with an annoying roommate and an online dating profile. He basically spends the week trying to have sex with a variety of chicks who have zero interest in him before he decides to fuck an old sex buddy who's totally interested in him--only, SURPIRSE! He's not interested in her.

Fucking hell.

Anyway, aside from that, literally nothing happens. The dude can't even motivate to jerk off while his roommate and her lame ass boyfriend are out at a romantic dinner at La Villa or some shit. AND, apparently he doesn't study at all.

I'm stumped (and bored). Anyone?

(And, duh, if you *actually* do know him, don't use his name in the comments. Though feel free to dish any anonymous juicy details you might have about the dude since, quite frankly, I can't handle any more boring ones).