BK HOLIDAY MEATUP! OUR NAUGHTY OFFICE PARTY WILL BE BETTER THAN YOURS [TRUST]

Calling all single bros and bitches: you asked, and we answered. Behold!: The BK Holiday Meatup!

Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©), cordially invites all of your single-n-ready to mingle asses to their annual (as of this year) Naughty Holiday Office Party, on Weds, December 9th at the Bell House.

That's right, people...for those of you who didn't get married/engaged/hook'd up/laid by enough random strangers since our last wildly successful Meatup in October, we've got another one for you to try your luck at.

In case you're not in the know, a Meatup actually has fuck all to do with meat (though, hello, we WILL have Asia Dog rockin their truck outside this time!). A Meatup is a hybrid of a Sat night, club crowd, I wore my nice undies just in case "untz untz" meat market and a chill, BK, "everyone is wearing glasses that make them look like an indie filmmaker but I love it anyway" meetup all rolled into one. Translation: the opportunities for getting laid will be epic.

Despite the recesh, Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©) has had an amazing year, so they're rarin to throw a (very very naughty) office party the likes of which you've never seen. All that shit that you're not supposed to do at your real office party is highly encouraged at this one:

• Drinkin, smoking-n-sexin? check
• Obscene photocopies? check
• Inappropriate hot dog jokes? check
• Employee on employee action? check
• Risque photos for posting on Facebook? check

We're pretty much taking the Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©) employee handbook and setting that mofo on fire. You in?

We'll have sexy Santas (for both the ladies and the guys) on hand, roving massage therapists to loosen everyone up (though no guarantees of happy endings), Christmas photos at our holiday photo booth, an hour of FREE hard, strong drinks, $3 Busch beers all night, and loads'o other surprises.

The hilarious Sara Schaefer will be back to help us figure out who's been naughty and who's been nice, and DJ Jonny Con Carne will be spinning tunes.

Oh yeah, and Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©) will personally guarantee a year of free cement to ANYONE who doesn't get laid that night.

Tix are $10 now and $15 at the door, so obvs you should buy one now. Then you should RSVP to our Facebook event, and follow us on Twitter. Then you should take an envelope and put $20,000 worth of unmarked bills in it and tape it to the back of the toilet in the Tea Lounge to await further instructions. Oh wait....wrong post. Sorry.

GO TO THE NAUGHTY OFFICE PARTY BK MEATUP OR I'LL KILL YOU (oops, again!).