CALL OFF THE DOGS: COTMM FIPS-TIGATION UPDATE

Okay, everyone.  This shit is INSANE. 

I just ask a simple question (ie: Where the fuck is my mail?!), and I ended up igniting a firestorm of complaints about the mail service around these parts.  Stories of mailmen hanging out in building lobbies, weeks after weeks of no Netflix, homeless men finding mail in the recycling bin when fishing for empty cans and bottles—it's all super carayzee.

On one hand, it's nice to know you're not alone.  On the other, more pessimistic hand, it's kind of scary to know that this is a neighborhood-wide problem and not just an isolated incident.  So, we decided to mail a letter and test the whole thing out.

Well, I received the letter within one business day, which is an appropriate amount of time.  The letter was only mildly caked in filth, so I guess we're going to have to call off the dogs on this one. 

Here's what we've learned:

1. Sometimes you'll get your mail!

2. Sometimes you won't, for like, weeks.

3. Sometimes Postmen kick it at pizzerias rather than going on their routes.

4. Sometimes if you want to get a package, you have to take the day off of work, sit on your stoop, and demand your mail from your carrier, otherwise, it'll probably end up in the recycling.

While I'm sad to see the FIPS-tigation come to a close (mainly because, as my father says, I always want to burn down the village), it's nice to know that things are semi-on track? 

Maybe not.  I dunno.  From now on, if I need anything important shipped to me, it'll be to my office.  Who's with me?