FIPS CARES: Escaped Bunny?

Hopefully this little guy or gal has not eaten themselves to death by now on fun sized snickers and packets of candy corn that ppl have thrown over the fence.

IS THIS YOUR BUNNY??? If so, go get him or her, cause they're currently having a sit-in at the Park Slope Library. From a tipster:

"There's an adorable pet bunny munching on grass in front of the library on 6th ave btw 8th and 9th streets. and is way too fat and happy to be park slope wildlife. He's obviously someones pet, isn't scared of people

There's been a gaggle of people around him all morning and we tried calling the ASPCA, 311 and all the local vets to see if anyone would come get him...no luck, as apparently on the weekends they don't do pickups. So unless one of us scales the fence, captures le bunny, and brings him to the shelter he's left to his own devices.

He must belong to someone nearby?"

Anyone missing this siwwy wabbit??

Who Gives A Shit: Costumed Canines?

Where is the outrage, I ask you???

With all the rations of sugar, honey, and iced tea served up daily to Park Slope's parenting population, why isn't anybody talking about the state of dog ownership today?

Because I'm going to be sorely tempted to call the four-legged equivalent of child services on some of my neighbors if I see any dogs dressed as Elvis or even a chia pet next weekend!

So, fuck what you or your little people are dressing up as for Halloween: what's the pooch wearing? (And are there any good Halloween pooch events going on in the Slope?).

Where do you come down on this great canine costume debate?

FIPS CARES: Brooklyn Animal Foster Network

Ok, y'all: time to open up your wallets...W-I-D-E.

The Brooklyn Animal Foster Network (BAFN) is a kickass local animal foster and rescue group that has already saved hundreds of cats-n-dogs. You may have seen them on 7th Avenue in front of John Jay H.S. one weekend as you walked by all drunk-n-shit after a boozy brunch or something.

Anyway, you're not going to be seeing them anymore for awhile...cause they ran out of money. They can't afford to keep their org going and they can't afford to help any more animals. And this is a particular bitch, because there are SO many extra animals that need homes and need help due to our shitty economy. So this all makes me ridiculously friggin sad.

Can you guys mebbe help them out with a donation? Also, here are some fly ass dogs-n-cats up for adoption:

FIPS reader Jeanette wrote in to see if we could help, and sent along a great story about her own dog Zeke, who she adopted from BAFN:

Zeke was on the euthanasia list at a city shelter before Brooklyn Foster Network swooped in and saved him that night. Now look at him! Chillin' on a lawn chair! Eating chicken thighs and running 2.5 miles with me almost every day!

Zeke was only with the foster network for a few days before we adopted him. When we adopted Zeke, another dog was quickly saved from the over-run and under-staffed city shelters. Many animals have been surrendered to city shelters due to foreclosures, evictions and the poor economy. After a hard summer, Brooklyn Foster Network is closing their doors until they can raise more money to continue. Please consider donating!

Ok, btchz: SEND THEM SOME MONEY!! PLLLLLZZZZZZ!

Gettin' Wild in Park Slope

Do you live in perpetual fear of bedbugs, Mama Rosa employees, and robber raccoons? Well, add this freak to your list cuz he is so NOT kidding around: Wildlife Control Guy!

How his neighbors on 15th Street have not thrown him a welcoming block party yet is beyond me. There is little we know about WiCon Guy except for the evidence presented by his car.

 

I'm guessing this is not the guy who answers your 311 call to Animal Control, but that's just a hunch. For his day job, he either:

 

a) Runs a hearse company catering to deceased Furries.

b) Professionally collects Ghostbusters paraphernalia.

 

A man's car says a lot about him, no? Particularly when he posts helpful notices like this:

 

"Park Close At Your Own Risk"

You know, in case the wildlife gets out. Effective means of preserving your back bumper.

 

In other words: don't try to fuck with WiCon Guy. One of you did though, and he has a message for you:

click to enlarge

It says: "To whoever put the dead rat on my bumper: Now, that was funny! But it was illegal too, so I took a picture in case we catch you." And yep, that's an "I Heart Hunting" sicker below.

Most interestingly, WiCon Guy has a phone number. There is no way in hell I'm calling him and risking my number showing up on his Caller ID. But someone should! 718-832-1111.

So in conclusion, if you see a weird dude, who probably wears full-on Hazmat gear, shouldering a rifle while strolling Prospect Park, never fear, WiCon Guy is here!

Note: Eesh..I just looked up this number, and it goes to Naruto Ramen...so that's what's in the dumplings?!?

SQUIRREL HAS TONS OF BABIES IN PARK SLOPE / COUPLE HAS “YOGA ROOM”

Not sure how we missed this one from Gothamist, but just so you know: an adorable mommy squirrel has taken up residence amongst our prime Park Slope real estate to do what all the rest of us do: BREED. Apparently this squirrel has been cranking out a shit load of babies next to Kenneth and Michelle’s “Yoga Room” window. Rather than being totally grossed out, they’ve created an entire website with pictures, videos, and a bunch of other squirrely crap.

Unfortch, this has predictably attracted the worst kinds of people:

Dear Mommy Squirrel,

How did you lose the baby weight? What do you think of the merits of homeschooling vs. public or private schools? Are organic nuts expensive? Please advise.

– Michelle

Dear Mrs. Sqirl,

What is it like to see these sqirls grow up and be big kids? What kind of nuts do you eat? Other than nuts what do you eat anything else?

Sincerily,

– Courtney

EPIC FAIL, Courtney and Michelle.

I myself once had a super intense hang sesh with a baby squirrel. After letting it nibble on my fingers, the wildlife lady I took it to said “it probably has rabies.” My little friend was taken away in an airtight plastic box and HAD ITS BRAIN REMOVED. I was told there is a 0.5% chance that I have dormant rabies, SO GREAT.

Hanging out in your yoga room with some adorb rodent pack seems so sweet and innocent. UNTIL THEY KILL YOU. I could go rabid any day.