BREAKING: Rabid Raccoon Found in Prospect Park

And, the hits just keep on coming.

"On December 2, 2010 a dead raccoon, collected from Prospect Park tested positive for rabies a the Public Health Laboratory."

So says the NY Dept of Health & Mental Hygiene in an alert they put out yesterday.

Apparently this is only the second rabid racoon ever found in Prospect Park since raccoon rabies hit the scene in 1992 (the first one was found this Feb in Boerum Hill).

They're going to continue to monitor the situation and suggest that now might be a good time to make sure that your pets have their up-to-date rabies vaccinnations.

My best advice: if you see a raccoon, RUN LIKE FORREST GUMP in the opposite direction.

COOL OR NOT COOL: Hey, Can I Borrow Your Dog??

Ok, so I'm sure no one will be shocked at the news that several times a week, some cool ass BR-ALLERS will email me about the ridiculous shit that's goin down on Park Slope Parents. It doesn't really take a mathematician to figure out this formula: at any given moment, you can pretty much guarantee that there is a long, drawn-out, entirely ridiculous discussion going on about SOMETHING on PSP.

To add insult to injury, rather than just sit back and accept the motherfucking publicity that I give them virtually every single time I post about them, they practically send me cease and desist orders-n-shit.

Anyway, this bullshit was just too whacked out, so I HAD to post.

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Raccoon Terror Threat Alert = Red

This post goes out to allllll you mofos who thought that my post about the vigilante Park Slope raccoon who got beheaded a few months ago was a leetle too over the top...cause I'm just wondering how "over the top" you think shit will be when a motherfucking, titty sucking raccoon breaks INTO YOUR GODDAMNED APARTMENT AND EATS YOUR BABY!???

9-month-old Baby in Georgia Nearly Eaten By Raccoons; Animals Chewed on Face, Head, Hands:

A baby was hospitalized on Wednesday after being attacked by a pair of raccoons as she slept in her own crib.

The 9-month-old Georgia girl is listed in critical condition and suffered extensive injuries to her head, according to The Covington News.

The raccoons entered the home around 4 a.m. through the side panels of a window air conditioner in the mother's bedroom, where the baby slept, authorities said.

You know, I gotta say, if I've learned one thing through all these raccoon incidents it's this: those bitches are BALLSY. Like, they just don't give a FUCK who you are or what the fuck you think you're gonna do to them. If they wanna eat your baby's face, they will goddamned eat your baby's face.

I mean, DAYM.

Consider yourselves warned (AH-gain).

Bored To Death, That Stolen Sugar Dog, and Why I Heart Jonathan Ames

Okay, I lurve him. I want to sip tea and play like dogs in the surf with him. He's really not my type and I AM married but I am hawt for Jonathan Ames. His mind, anyway.

I must confess that I'm too cheap to shell out for HBO and cannot wrest the clicker away from my beasts long enough to watch anything anyway, thus have never actually watched Bored To Death. So I had to hear it from Sugar's mom during off leash hours at Prospect Park (who had heard it from HER friend), that the whole plot of last week's episode evidently revolved around one of our very own stranger than fiction posts. 

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I Sincerely Hope This Unicorn Hasn't Already Been Beheaded in Prospect Park