Gettin' Wild in Park Slope

Do you live in perpetual fear of bedbugs, Mama Rosa employees, and robber raccoons? Well, add this freak to your list cuz he is so NOT kidding around: Wildlife Control Guy!

How his neighbors on 15th Street have not thrown him a welcoming block party yet is beyond me. There is little we know about WiCon Guy except for the evidence presented by his car.

 

I'm guessing this is not the guy who answers your 311 call to Animal Control, but that's just a hunch. For his day job, he either:

 

a) Runs a hearse company catering to deceased Furries.

b) Professionally collects Ghostbusters paraphernalia.

 

A man's car says a lot about him, no? Particularly when he posts helpful notices like this:

 

"Park Close At Your Own Risk"

You know, in case the wildlife gets out. Effective means of preserving your back bumper.

 

In other words: don't try to fuck with WiCon Guy. One of you did though, and he has a message for you:

click to enlarge

It says: "To whoever put the dead rat on my bumper: Now, that was funny! But it was illegal too, so I took a picture in case we catch you." And yep, that's an "I Heart Hunting" sicker below.

Most interestingly, WiCon Guy has a phone number. There is no way in hell I'm calling him and risking my number showing up on his Caller ID. But someone should! 718-832-1111.

So in conclusion, if you see a weird dude, who probably wears full-on Hazmat gear, shouldering a rifle while strolling Prospect Park, never fear, WiCon Guy is here!

Note: Eesh..I just looked up this number, and it goes to Naruto Ramen...so that's what's in the dumplings?!?