Shitty Parking Sign Gets Park Slope Resident Towed

Mark Vincent / Photo by Yana Paskova for The New York Times

Last October Mark Vincent found himself the victim of a classic Park Slope fucking: his car was towed because of a poorly worded parking sign.

After half an hour spent looking for a spot along Prospect Park West, Mark found one underneath a sign that read “No Standing April to October.” The date was October 2nd. Like any good Park Slope resident, he knows his grammar and assumes everyone else should too, so he parked underneath the sign. After all, the dictionary defines “to” as “up to but not including.”

A few days later, he found out his car was towed. Apparently the cops think “to” and “through” are interchangeable words. Mark wasn’t the first to deal with this bullshit, either. A few days after his car was towed, The Brooklyn Paper reported that a whole bunch of other cars were towed from the same spot for the same misunderstanding. 

Despite the city admitting that they meant for the sign to indicate that it's OK to park there in October, Mark’s two appeals have fallen upon deaf ears. In fact, City Finance Department’s deputy chief administrative law judge, Brian Keeney, let Mark know that he had exhausted any chances of anyone listening to him, ever.

During this time, the sign on Prospect Park West was replaced with a new one that reads “No Standing, April 1st - September 30th.” Not that it fucking matters now to Mark. Right now he’s contemplating a final appeal to the State Supreme Court. The filing would cost him $305 in addition to the towing and ticket fees he’s paid already. If he wins, he gets it back. If he loses he’s down over $600 because of the city’s shitty, misleading grammar.

“My dream is that one of these people will have a conversation with me,” Mark told the New York Times, who reported on the story.

Keep dreaming, buddy.