Alternate-Side Parking: We Hate It, But We Hate Not Being Able To Hate It, Too

Image via vosizneias.com

The NY Daily News just unveiled an enlightening piece about Park Slopers who have been creating quite the shitstorm caused by another shitstorm. Residents of our fine neighborhood have been bitching about the recent lack of alternate-side parking because the NYC sanitation department is busy focusing on parts of the borough that were more affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Yes, you read that right.

We Park Slope residents bitch and complain when we HAVE to move our cars for street cleaning, but then we bitch and complain when we DON’T have to move our cars for street cleaning?

“We’re hopping mad about it,” said Craig Hammerman, the district manager of Community Board 6. “People have been waiting for the resumption of alternate side so we can get our streets clean.” He adds, “For them to delay resumption of this service boggles the mind”.

I’m going to file this in my ARE-YOU-KIDDING-ME-WITH-THIS folder, alongside the moment I witnessed a woman scream about the lack of kale at Key Foods three days after the hurricane.

Now, I totally understand that having clean streets is important and getting back into a normal rhythm is vital for things to function, but this isn’t laziness on the part of the city. They are just trying to help those who are desperately in need of help FIRST. It’s not like they decided to NEVER clean our streets again. It's not like they want rivers of garbage to flow down our streets and give birth to Park Slope rat armies.

And I bet you money that as soon as alternate-side parking returns, we'll all resort to once again whining about having to -- UGH -- circle the block 6 whole times before finding a spot.

On a similar note, Red Hook and Gowanus are also on the list of “no street cleaning”…which is cray cray considering that both neighborhoods were pretty much under water (and chances are, some gnarly stuff probably came up from the dregs of the canal and waterfront). That said, all of us in the Slope really need to cool our jets.