How To Smoke Crack

For those of you who really wanna take this whole BALLER thing to the outer limits, the NY Observer has a wonderful how-to guide on how to be a crack smoking hipster. Cause, you know, "crack is back."

"On my way to meet the Last Crack Hipster, I bought a soda at a bodega around the corner from where he lives in Brooklyn. I must have missed him by a minute. The bodega sells crack pipes, too. Most bodegas in the city do. The pipes used to be disguised as glass tubes, corked at both ends, containing tiny roses. No one bought them for the roses. Now they come in the form of pens: The “straw” that’s normally plastic on a Bic pen is glass. Who wants a glass pen? The pen works, yes. It is genius. At some places, if you ask for a “demo,” you get just the part used for a pipe."

Daym, I have enough trouble finding a bodega that stocks my fucking devil dogs, and these bitches are selling little "crack kits!?"

I mean, that is pretty convenient, though still not quite as convenient as a weed delivery guy. Jus sayin...

Anyway.

You heard it here first BREEDERS. So, if you're smart-assed teen is all "I'm off to the bodega to go grab a crack kit, er snack! Just a snack!," now you'll know what's *really* going down.

You're welcome.

(NY Observer via Gothamist)

Heroin Addicted Hobos Coming to Park Slope!!

Ok, so the heroin addicted hobos ARE in Williamsburg right now....but as we ALL know, the G train now goes from Williamsburg straight into Park Slope! You do the math, bitches. That obviously means that heroin addicted hobos are going to be arriving on our leafy, stroller strewn streets in 3...2...(don't say we didn't warn you).

(via the Daily News)

The Hipster Grifter May or May Not Be Hiding Out In Park Slope

Ok, so if you haven't read about the Hipster Grifter by now, you either don't have an internet connection or don't speak English.  But just in case you fall into one of these two categories, let me summarize the sitch for you:

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Park Slope [Sweat Pants Optional]

[Oh, look! Jessica Simpson (before she got fat), rockin the sweats!]

As a former Park Slope inhabitant for two years, and then a "Park Slope" (Prospect Heights) inhabitant for another two years, I now find myself living in Tribeca.

Okay, don't hate me just yet.

The truth? My rent and entire living situation is cheaper than it was in the Brooklyn digs, because of strange but fortunate circumstances. Legal and NOT shady ones at that. Okay, you probably hate me. The short of it is that I live in the combination living and work space of...wait for it...the family I used to nanny for...in...wait for it again...Park Slope! Except that they don't really live here. It's a long story.

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Subway D-Bag OR Not? Exhibit #2: Old Man Hubbard

Ok, fine.

Everyone had a shit ton of opinions on whether or not its acceptable to leave an old woman OR an old man standing in the subway, while the youngins luxuriate in a seat nearby.

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