Park Slope [Sweat Pants Optional]
Alicia | Monday, March 16, 2009 at 12:07AM 
[Oh, look! Jessica Simpson (before she got fat), rockin the sweats!]
As a former Park Slope inhabitant for two years, and then a "Park Slope" (Prospect Heights) inhabitant for another two years, I now find myself living in Tribeca.
Okay, don't hate me just yet.
The truth? My rent and entire living situation is cheaper than it was in the Brooklyn digs, because of strange but fortunate circumstances. Legal and NOT shady ones at that. Okay, you probably hate me. The short of it is that I live in the combination living and work space of...wait for it...the family I used to nanny for...in...wait for it again...Park Slope! Except that they don't really live here. It's a long story.
Sooooo, my semi-always broke-ass lives in a Tribeca loft, without the means to warrant it. Although shitty $9 gin-and-sodas at Tribeca Tavern and $14 hunks of not-shitty cheese at Whole Foods are the norm, I quickly discovered that Tribeca is not 100% Fancy Pants. Noooo, there's room for Sweat Pants too!
There's a 7-11, a McDonald's, a Taco Bell, the Pig and Whistle, Nancy Whiskey Pub and a whole slew of places that are probably not patronized by the Tribeca elite. When I made this discovery, a blog idea was born: Tribeca in Sweat Pants, an attempt to shine the spotlight on the pre-De Niro Tribeca and the post-De Niro Tribeca that holds on, one Big Gulp at a time. But because I'm lazy (um, see the "Sweat Pants" part above), I haven't done it yet.
It did get me thinking though, Park Slope is Sweat Pants-worthy too; it isn't all baby boutiques and tastefully-decorated bars. When I lived there, nanny or not, I was NOT making bank, which means I flocked to a couple of tried-and-true cheap thrill spots to stretch my pitiful paychecks. Let's take a look:
1. Jackie's 5th Amendment: I admit, it was HARD to walk by this place to work everyday and NOT give in to drowning my sorrows in Bud Lights like the rest of the peeps at 10am. I'm pretty sure smoking is a pre-requisite though, if you really want to fit in here. Fuck.
2. Mandee: I always looked for sweet teenager threads at Mandee that I could get away with at my *ahem* teaching jobs, (which is a true art, people)! I mean, sure I'd rather shop at Lucia or Kiwi, but I don't see anything for under $12 there. Oh yeah, and they sell sweat pants, but they are a little bling-blinged and neon yellow for my taste.
3. Smith's Bar & Grill: Piece. Of. Shit. Bar. But you know what?: their NFL Sunday Ticket TVs saved me from missing football games, so I can ignore the fact that, wow, yes, those ARE hookers (and a pimp!) at the jukebox. Oh, and thank you $1 mug of Miller Lite!
4. The Lighthouse Tavern: They WANT you to wear sweat pants in here. Did ya see the board games and couches in back? Plus, better to wipe your wing sauce-slathered fingers on grey sweats, as opposed to grey linen. (UPDATE: Oh, sanp! They are now closed...probably b/c of all the sweat pants wearing peeps in there).
5. That place by the 7th Avenue Q stop: I really don't know the name. Anyone? It reminds me of many a disgusting truck stop restaurants on bleary-eyed Greyhound bus rides, i.e. diner-esque circa 1970's where greasy food bakes underneath those scary light bulbs. There's always a panhandler to greet you, a nice array of smut to choose from, and abominable coffee, but hey, the latter is less than a dollar and gets the job done (so does the smut, FYI, but it costs a bit more).
What are your fave sweat pants-worthy Park Slope spots?
Read loads'o more stuff from Alicia (AND buy some of her crocheted stuff) right here >>> www.aliciakachmar.com
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Reader Comments (10)
I never go anywhere in Park Slope in sweatpants. Otherwise, I'd make eye contact with a disdainful mom and know that she was thinking, "not only do I have a kid and a husband, but I have better clothing and nicer butt than you do."
The lighthouse is sadly now closed. You need to get your shit together alicia! http://www.brownstoner.com/brownstoner/archives/2009/01/streetlevel_com.php
Your blog idea is not very good. Neither is your blogging. I did like your crocheted things. Those were cute,
just an fyi...the owners of commonwealth bar have taken over the spaces of the former lighthouse tavern on 5th as well as the old mooney's pub on flatbush and are in the process of renovating and opening new bars...
sounds awesome to me, as i love commonwealth.
sorry, do good looking/well dressed moms exist in PS? i had to run an errand there saturday and saw the typical fugly mom in Lulu's. greying jew fro, brown! down coat, no make-up, boot cut jeans with a make-shift cuff and, some funky "comfortable" sneaker shoes. you forget living in williamsburg just how ugly the PS peeps are. definitely a great place tho if you want to walk around in sweat pants!
that's interesting, cause i find the people in williamsburg absolutely hideous.
carbon copies of each other, unshowered, unruly facial hair and underweight.
not my idea of hot.
If you don't live in park slope, why are you writing for a park slope blog? And recommending places you can't remember the name of but can't be bothered getting on the subway to find out? I know you're trendy and lazy and sweat-pant-cool and all that but I would really prefer to read recommendations from someone who actually likes living here and actually does live here.
Great! So someone let Erica and Greg know that Alicia isn't going to work out unless she starts writing about shit she knows some thing about. I agree with fancy and anon. Park Slope moms are frumpy and everyone in Wburg is d.i.r.t.y.
I live there in spirit, kiddos. Love all your comments!!! Haha. I am fully embracing the hate.
sorry but as a grown up you shouldnt step out of the house in sweat pants. shit is just not right and seriously unbecoming. stop encouraging this fucking terrible bad habit thanks.