"The Allure of Brooklyn" Creates Hipster Criminals and Idiot Girlfriends

Image Via Gothamist

Gothamist reports that during last year's Memorial Day weekend festivities, self-proclaimed "hipster" Sophia Anderson and her "hipster" boyfriend Dan Sajewski, drunkenly drove Dan's parents' Benz through an old lady's (not a hipster) house in Long Island. Attempting to be the "cool girlfriend", Sophia swapped seats with Sajewski and took the blame for the crash to protect him from violating his probation. 

NOTE: Ladies, don't do this shit...it rarely works out in your favor. 

Surprise, Dan didn't pull through on a promised Hamptons vacay OR paying all Sophia's legal fees...but we saw that coming, didn't we?

Here's the clincher: Sophia's lawyer, John LoTurco, blames her relationship with Sajewski a little, but mostly he blames our fair borough for Anderson's problems. He states, “She’s doing great...without the negative influences of Daniel and the allure of Brooklyn." He continues, “The allure of Brooklyn was her boyfriend’s circle of friends and the hipster lifestyle that was going on at that period of time — the drinking, the drugging". 

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The Divisiveness of Artisanal Mayo

Sam Mason / Photo by Melissa Hom, Grub Street

Let's say you're this hotshot chef. You've got a degree from Johnson & Wales. You've been a pastry chef at wd-50. You've had a hip restaurant in SoHo AND opened a bar in Williamsburg. You've got your own show on IFC where you serve dinner to indie bands -- a show that you claim to have landed because the creators googled "tattooed hipster chef." You've set up a booth at Smorgasburg where you sell artisan mayo.

What's the next logical step?

OBVIOUSLY it's to further your artisanal mayo empire by opening a storefront/kitchen lab in Prospect Heights & calling it "Empire Mayonnaise."

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Manhattan Breeds More Hipsters Than Brooklyn

Graph via Priceonomics

This according to a study done by Priceonomics, the self-described "price guide for everything." Know what they base all of this evidence on? The purchase of fixed gear bikes. Manhattan sells more than Brooklyn, apparently.

I wonder if they considered the fact that Manhattan is mostly flat while Brooklyn is peppered with mountainous hills. This is why I own a 10 speed. If I biked to Sunset Park on a fixie I'd probably die.

[Via Racked]

Here's Where To Send Your Hipster Kid Off To College

It's never too early to start thinking about college, BREEDERS! Rather than combing through all that US News & World Report bullshit, might we suggest the 10 Most Hipster Colleges list? Lucky for you, three of the schools: NYU, F.I.T. and Parsons are located right here in good ole New York. So Sufjan or Magnus or whatevs can keep living with you guys 4Ever whilst pursuing his hipster lifestyle at a university of higher learning. Yay!

[Via Gothamist]

Brookland: Is Brooklyn The New Portland?

Photo via the Observer

Is Brooklyn the new Portland? The New York Observer's Adrianne Jefferies seems to think so. 

In her article, Jefferies sites similarities of the food truck craze, gourmet doughnuts, vegan soaps, and ironic sporting events as obvious points of connection between Portland and Brooklyn. I’m venturing to say I respectfully disagree…to a point.

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