How To Smoke Crack

For those of you who really wanna take this whole BALLER thing to the outer limits, the NY Observer has a wonderful how-to guide on how to be a crack smoking hipster. Cause, you know, "crack is back."

"On my way to meet the Last Crack Hipster, I bought a soda at a bodega around the corner from where he lives in Brooklyn. I must have missed him by a minute. The bodega sells crack pipes, too. Most bodegas in the city do. The pipes used to be disguised as glass tubes, corked at both ends, containing tiny roses. No one bought them for the roses. Now they come in the form of pens: The “straw” that’s normally plastic on a Bic pen is glass. Who wants a glass pen? The pen works, yes. It is genius. At some places, if you ask for a “demo,” you get just the part used for a pipe."

Daym, I have enough trouble finding a bodega that stocks my fucking devil dogs, and these bitches are selling little "crack kits!?"

I mean, that is pretty convenient, though still not quite as convenient as a weed delivery guy. Jus sayin...

Anyway.

You heard it here first BREEDERS. So, if you're smart-assed teen is all "I'm off to the bodega to go grab a crack kit, er snack! Just a snack!," now you'll know what's *really* going down.

You're welcome.

(NY Observer via Gothamist)