Gorilla Coffee Is Secretly Trying To Rip You Off

If you aren't already boycotting Gorilla Coffee for: 

+ Treating their employees like shit

+ Suing the NYT

+ Suing their former employees who quit

+ Being starfuckers

Then how bout this?

From a FIPS reader:

"I thought you might be interested in knowing that Gorilla Coffee is now selling 12oz bags of coffee beans for the same price ($11) for which they had been selling similar-looking 16oz bags.  And they totally tricked me into buying a bag.  As a customer who stayed loyal to them following all of that ugly publicity recently, this is the last straw.  To be sure, Gorilla has a right to raise its prices, but to do it sneakily and unannounced leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.  I thought you might like to warn other Park Slope consumers of this attempted gouging."

Thanks to this thoughtful reader, consider yourselves warned.

Real smooth, Gorillz...REAL SMOOTH.

Ex Gorilla Coffee Workers Stop Being Polite And Start Getting Real; Hire Attorney Martin Garbus

Whoa. Check and Mate!

Remember all those former pissed-off Gorilla workers who staged that big Norma Rae type walkout this Summer? Right, well, if you'll recall, the fine folks at Gorilla decided to SUE their asses (along with the NY fucking TIMES!) over that whole kerfuffle.

The laswuit, is obvs, beyond retarded, and superstar trial attorney Martin Garbus agrees, judging by the fact that he's taken on their case. Garbus has represented a number of notable people throughout his career including Cesar Chavez, Don Imus, Lenny Bruce and Nelson Mandela, so he ain't really sweatin it. He's working with Brandworkers.org, and between them both, they're gonna fight the power and try to take Gorilla all the way down to Chinatown:

"Retaliatory, anti-speech lawsuits like the one from Gorilla Coffee have the potential to both harm innocent people who choose to speak out and chill the speech of others who would like to make their voices heard," said Martin Garbus.  "This lawsuit is without merit and will be defended vigorously until victory."

I've been on team ex-Gorilla employees from the get-go, but the fact that Brandworkers.org sent out a press release today crediting US with breaking the original story of the lawsuit (even if they don't link to us) locks me in for fucking life. Protests in the street!? Buring gorillas in effigy? You name it and we are THERE FOR YOU!

Verizon Fios: A Preview

Ok, so Meredith broke the news several weeks ago, but the rumors are all true: I'M GETTING VERIZON FIOS! THIS FRIDAY!!!

DO YOU BTCHZ UNDERSTAND HOW AMAZZZZZZZZINGGGGG THISSSSS ISSSSSS????

This means I'll soon be free from the most horrific, down-n-dirty, craptacular brand experience of my adult life thus far: Time Motherfucking Warner!

I hate Time Motherfucking Warner...Amanda hates Time Motherfucking Warner...Allison hates Time Motherfucking Warner, shit, OLIVER even hates Time Motherfucking Warner. Sometimes I think all these ladiez only started writing for FIPS *just* so that they could bitch about Time Motherfucking Warner. In our non-scientific FIPS research over the past two years, I would guestimmate that 9.9 out of 10 people in Brooklyn who have Time Warner hate Time Motherfucking Warner.

And while I don't yet actually have Verizon Fios, I wanted to keep you up-to-date on how the experience has gone down so far and compare and contrast it, to past experiences with Time Warner.

Click to read more ...

FILTH IN PARK SLOPE: RESTAURANT HEALTH GRADES TRICKLE IN

My least favorite website in the world, worse than fucking Jezebel, is that Health Department site where you search for your favorite restaurants and find out they all have rats. 

Now, the ONLY good thing about this website is that YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT -- So needless to say I was a little ambivalent this past summer when I heard about the Health Department's plan to make you look at their restaurant ratings by requiring owners to post them in their entrance windows. 

Here was my concern: Maybe publicly-displayed restaurant health grades are like those horrendous calorie counts on FIVE GUYS' menus, or like the details of the water-boarding process that the US government uses to keep us safe: Maybe I'm just WAY happier not knowing!

So while walking up and down 7th ave over the last couple of months, I've been somewhat hesitant to look too closely at restaurant windows: I've started to dread, somewhat, the impending letter-grade invasion.

Especially in the last few weeks, I've definitely noticed that the placards are starting to trickle in. It doesn't seem all that bad yet, but maybe that's because there's one unsettling factor that keeps it from seeming real: How come all the ratings I've seen are just a bunch of fucking A's!? Why isn't even the shittiest Mexican rat-hole sporting AT LEAST a goddamn B?

Well TODAY I discovered the answer, thanks to the NY Post's hard-hitting coverage of VerminGate.  (Shocking spoiler: Restaurants have accidentally been forgetting to post their shiny-new 'C' letter-grade certificates in storefront windows next to their 'Zagat-rated' plaques and take-out menus.) 

So for the sake of journalism, as much as it makes my nuts hurt to read about how the food I eat is  prepared in rodent-excrement, I just HAD to go back to my least-favorite website to see what these Park Slope fuckers have been hiding.

Here's a listing of the Park Slope results carrying the biggest WOW factor; not the ones that are necessarily the WORST, but more like unexpected twists of surprise, e.g. "WOW, "Sette" is a rat-hole?" or "DAMN, PURITY diner is getting a mutherfuckin A*??"

*Speaking of Purity diner, more on that scene after the jump...

Click to read more ...

FRESHDIRECT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE?

[ed note: Straight off the heels of his unsuccessful attempt to get FIPS turned into a parked porn domain, may I present the triumphant and LONG ASS awaited return of our O.G. partner-in-crime, Benjamin Leo!].

FreshDirect.com has recently developed a handy “Black Neighborhood Detection Tool” which lives on the front page of their site. Unfortunately, it also doubles as their “Service Locator,” which serves to determine areas eligible for delivery.

Simply type your zip code into the submission form, and if it locks you out of the site, congratulations: You live in a black neighborhood.

Click to read more ...