The Mama Rosa Hate Parade

photo: Jacqueline Wasilcyzk for Zagat BuzzOk, so me, Greg-n-Foreign Dude went to Mama Rosa on Sat night for dinner...we were excited, and smiling, and genuinely hoping to find a new fave Park Slope spot. I swear.

Instead, I found another place to add to my growing list of "Places that Can Go Fuck Themselves Right In Their Fucking Faces."

Before I get into, I should say that the food was mostly pretty good. Not life changing or anything, but good. If you don't care about anything else, then stop reading and move right along to baby fucking baboons or something. If not, buckle your seatbelts, cause I swear I couldn't make any of this up if I tried.

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: Takeout Menu Hell

OK, so most of you probs have that little red sign in front of your fancy brownstones that says DO NOT DROP MENUS HERE BY PENALTY OF BEING PUT ON ALERT AT THE COOP, or whatever they actually say.  So, when restaurants ignore your sign and leave menus on your doorstep, does their unwelcome appearance actually affect your decision about whether or not to patronize the place?

At my old place, I used to get my feathers ruffled for a hot second and then generally forget about it, but this weekend, Kiku on Seventh decided to not only leave a recycling center's worth of menus in my apartment building's entrance (whatev, it's your job, I'll live), but also found a way into the building and slipped menus under each apartment door.  We always have a ton of rogue menus in the entryway, fine, but never in our actual apartments.  

I'm sure I'm too wah-wah sensitive for you tough types, but I'm gonna think twice before ordering from them again.  Anyway, please justify my yuppie rage or insult my self-importance in the comments.

TODAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, TIME WARNER SUCKS A LITTLE LESS

We've bitched and moaned endlessly about Time Warner and their shitty service, ridiculously high rates, and their general assbackward approach to business. 

Well, now, my friends, it looks like the cable clouds have parted to a partly sunny outlook.  According to Daily Intel, your friendly Time Warner cable guy can't just show up whenever he damn well pleases without repercussions.  

New rules include that if the cable guy is late for a scheduled maintenence appointment, you will receive the next month's service FREE.  

This shit is good news, because I think I have to schedule an appointment—my DVR has totally been on the fritz.  Anyone else? 

Great Lakes is Anti-Great Lakes

FIPS reader Paul is non too pleased with the beer selection at Great Lakes. Here's why:

Park Slope has 43 bars, according to New York Magazine, making it second only to Williamsburg (in Brooklyn), which has 77. While this seems like it could only be great news for our Park Slope alcohol enthusiasts, not surprisingly, many Park Slope bars seem to have an identity crisis. I’ll start with Great Lakes.

I’ll be honest; I go to bars for three reasons: to drink, hook up, and escape the summer heat because I’m a writer and a jazz musician, so I’m clearly too busy saving money for much-needed booze to afford A/C. Naturally, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the bars of our lovely garden district this summer, having just moved here in July from the city. Being a Great Laker myself, hailing originally from Michigan, my Minnesota roommate and I recently decided to finally check out Great Lakes. Only, did you know that Great Lakes doesn't have a single fucking Great Lake beer on draft!?

Don’t they think the midwest you snobby east coasters always make fun of brews good beer? In a New York Times beer tasting from earlier this year, the No. 1 and No. 4 beers, out of 20, were both from Dexter, Michigan: the Oro de Calabaza, from Jolly Pumpkin; and the Good Harbor Golden Ale, from Leelanau.

So Great Lakes is fucked up. But what’s even more fucked up is that you could walk across the street to the stellar High Dive during the month of July to find beers from Jolly Pumpkin and Atwater -- a Detroit brewery -- on draft. Walk south to Barbes, and you’ll find the kicks-the-shit-out-of-any-Brooklyn-Brewery-beer Founders Rye P.A., of Grand Rapids, Michigan, on draft. The High Dive and Barbes are respectively crushing it, not only with beer, but with free popcorn and basically free live music (suggested donation).

I’ll be back to report on the other 40 or so bars in Park Slope that I haven’t belittled here yet. Maybe Union Hall will be up next -- I know I’m new here, but what the fuck is up with their Dave and Busters meets Mystery Theater vibe?

Is Paul alone or does anyone else give a shit about this Great Lakes/Great Lakes sitch?

Anyone in the Mood for Some Communal Dressing Rooms?

Um, as if you actually needed a reason to quit shopping at Daffy's in Atlantic Center, FIPS reader Hannah has one pretty convincing one: Newly communal dressing rooms.

I've been a regular customer of the Atlantic Avenue Mall, and though I have put up with the shiteous shit the stores put their customers through, this tops them all. I ventured into Daffy's this morning to buy more things that I don't need. After finding some cheap dresses to try on, I walked into the dressing room and was shocked to find that Daffy's had taken down ALL the doors and curtains from the private dressing rooms and I was standing there staring at a bunch of naked chicks trying on clothes. I asked to speak to the manager and she told me (grudgingly and like I was crazy) that corporate made them do it on account of all the shoplifting. I mean, am I sniffing things or is this absolutely the weirdest thing in the world?! Has anyone else experienced this? BANANAS.

Fucking bananas, indeed.