Hold Onto Your Lady Parts...We're Getting Our Very Own "Power Center"!!!

Image via Racked.com

It’s now officially confirmed that BK gals won’t have to leave the borough to get their beauty fix, according to Racked.com. The first Brooklyn Sephora outpost will be housed in the Municipal Building downtown, and that’s not all ladies...

Sephora will allegedly be "the anchor for what is becoming a women's power center” in downtown Brooklyn.

Wait, what?

What the hell is a women’s power center? Isn’t that just called a mall?

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"The Allure of Brooklyn" Creates Hipster Criminals and Idiot Girlfriends

Image Via Gothamist

Gothamist reports that during last year's Memorial Day weekend festivities, self-proclaimed "hipster" Sophia Anderson and her "hipster" boyfriend Dan Sajewski, drunkenly drove Dan's parents' Benz through an old lady's (not a hipster) house in Long Island. Attempting to be the "cool girlfriend", Sophia swapped seats with Sajewski and took the blame for the crash to protect him from violating his probation. 

NOTE: Ladies, don't do this shit...it rarely works out in your favor. 

Surprise, Dan didn't pull through on a promised Hamptons vacay OR paying all Sophia's legal fees...but we saw that coming, didn't we?

Here's the clincher: Sophia's lawyer, John LoTurco, blames her relationship with Sajewski a little, but mostly he blames our fair borough for Anderson's problems. He states, “She’s doing great...without the negative influences of Daniel and the allure of Brooklyn." He continues, “The allure of Brooklyn was her boyfriend’s circle of friends and the hipster lifestyle that was going on at that period of time — the drinking, the drugging". 

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Science-y Test Maybe Finds Old Locomotive Under Atlantic Ave...Maybe Not.

Photo from Locomotive Engines Upon Railways by DePambour, 1836

The Brooklyn rumor mill is reporting mumblings of a large, local cavernous tunnel filled with an unknown object, and no, I’m not talking about Kim Kardashian’s recently-announced pregnancy.

Special science-y tests have detected a large, 20 foot metal object, rumored to be a 19th century locomotive, far inside a half-mile long tunnel near Hicks Street. “It’s like finding a giant hoard of gold,” said Bob Diamond, founder of the Brooklyn Historic Railway Association. “That locomotive has been sitting there since the outbreak of the Civil War — it’s like a living piece of history."

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[Review'd] A Tour Grows In Brooklyn (And How I Learned That Al Capone Couldn't Handle Park Slope)

Back when you could paint your brownstone pepto bismol pink / via Gothamist

Think you know everything there is to know about Park Slope? Think again, smart ass. Richard Kadlub, AKA "Big Rick," will gladly prove you wrong on his fantastic walking tour of our hood, adorably dubbed "A Tour Grows in Brooklyn." The three-hour journey begins on the gritty, industrial 4^th avenue, where I can only imagine the visiting Scottish woman in our group was thinking, did I really just travel 3,000 miles to see a car wash and collision shop? 

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CHECK IT OUT: BOTTLED BROOKLYN

In a city where 8 million people fight and claw and scratch for their God-given right for their very own 50 square feet of living space, it's no wonder that everyone aspires to have their own piece of The City That Never Sleeps/Shuts Up/Relents.  

Lucky for all of us, Bottled Brooklyn has come up with a way everyone can have their own piece of the city without breaking any property laws.  They sell premade, presealed tubes filled with "pieces of Brooklyn," a gift that's perfect for people who like sentimental gifts, but aren't willing to actually be sentimental themselves and hand-craft a gift on their own.

Read more about them on You're Welcome (and psst: they also have tubes the other, less worthy boroughs.  I wonder how well the Staten Island tubes are selling?).