Just Cheez It, Alf.

It's like a cheezy, iconic, gay Brit once said: "Saturday night's alright for fighting. Saturday night's alright. Alright. Alright. Woo Hoo Ooh Ooh."

It's like a cheezy, hacky teenager once said in the shitty follow-up to the shitty song that made her famous: "This Saturday we're gonna do it bigger than we ever have before."

It's like a cheezy bunch of 70’s era Scottish teenybopper heartthrobs once said: "It's just a Saturday night."

Guess what I did on Saturday night. Nope. Not cheese. Not even heroin. Nope. I didn't go to TGI Fridays and delight in the splendor that is their kitsch-adorned walls. TGI Fridays is more of a Friday thing. Since it was a Saturday smack dab in the middle of a pussy-snowstorm-induced three-day weekend, a few friends & I decided to travel all the way up the hills of Park Slope to 7th Ave, walking right past all the perfectly fine bars on 5th Ave.

The reason: A brand spanking new bar that just opened up in the old Bar 4 space (RIP and/or I never went there). The moniker: "American Cheez."

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[My Favorite Park Slope]: Sit-Down Coffee Break Spots

Image Via Chinae Alexander

New York has officially made me a minor coffee snob. Some days I wish I could just go back to thinking a cup of joe at Dunkin' was the fucking jam. But I can't...and you probably can't either. 

For a runaway cup of coffee, I'll do Gorilla or Cafe Grumpy -- my favorite coffee in the Slope. The drinks are excellent and there's never any room to sit...anywhere (unless you want to sit in the garbage collection area outside of Gorilla, where you'll find me pretty much every Saturday morning). 

But sometimes you just want to sit and actually enjoy the fine art of coffee-ing, rather than using it to prevent waterboarding a co-worker before 10AM.

Here are my two favorite sit-down coffee joints in the Slope:

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Today: Snowflake Celebration Gets You 7th Ave Discounts

Today is the Black Friday of 7th Avenue, y'all. All day long stores along this strip are offering discounts and freebies as part of Seventh Avenue’s 5th Annual Snowflake Festival. Hit up Slope Cellars for a 10% discount on wine and a tasting between 6-8PM! Buy shit tax-free at Brooklyn Industries after 7PM! Get 10% off at Gear To Go Outfitters! 

Check out their website for a full list of participants.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE REST OF THANKSGIVING WEEKEND (TURKEYPOCALYPSE)

  

Thanksgiving: it's a holiday weekend that really starts with a bang on Thursday, but leaves us having to figure out what to do with our stuffing-stuffed selves for the next few days. Here are some helpful hints of what to do post the Turkeypocalpyse: 

I hate leftovers. I mean, I can eat Thanksgiving Round 2 about 12 hours after I consumed it the first time, but then what? God knows there’s more turkey and fixin’s than I can shake a stick at, and dagwood sandwiches are looking kinda' meh at this point.

Martha Stewart has of course thought of about 2,000 ways to correct our little problem (along with inventing a lot of problems we didn’t even know we had). Here are 35 OF HER BEST-LOOKING POST-THANKSGIVING LEFTOVER RECIPES. Here are my personal favorites of the bunch: 

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7th Avenue Businesses: We're Cleaning Up This Shit House!

If you couldn't tell by the shadow of my big-ass head in the corner, I took this pic myself.

I'm happy to report that 7th Avenue businesses are banding together to take care of the foul trash problem that's been plaguing the strip for a while now. According to the Brooklyn Paper, stores on 7th Ave have decided to levy a new tax on themselves to help clean up all the shit off of the street since the city left them hanging.

This week, businesses are moving toward starting their own entity called the Business Improvement District board, which is much like their counterparts on 5th Avenue. Once the board is formed, businesses will vote on a $300/year tax per storefront for stores and restaurants located between Flatbush and Prospect Avenues. At least half of the business owners will have to vote in favor of the tax in order for it to happen. If a business refuses to pay, they will have to file a petition with the city clerk and they will quickly be labeled as haters. 

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