Park Slope Top Ten: Places to Get Blazed

Let's face it. People be puffin' all across this great city of ours. Whether you're an East Village guitarist or a Bed-Stuy hood or a Park Slope mommy, sometimes you just need to chill out with some smoke every once in a while...calm the ol' nerves.

Of course, that chillin' out ain't always happening in the comfort of folks' homes. Sometimes a man just needs to get away from his apartment or job or whatever, take a leisurely stroll, and take off the edge.

I mean, walk around the Wall Street area around lunchtime and there's a good chance you'll catch a whiff of the green...and believe me, that scent ain't coming from the protestors in Zuccotti Park. It's eminating from traders out on their lunch breaks. This same scenario happens all day long throughout the city. All I'm saying is that as a seasoned smoker, the nose knows.

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Top Ten Reasons GQ Magazine's Eater's Guide to Brooklyn is Horse Shit

From GQ.com

Full disclosure: I haven't picked up an issue of GQ since the mid 80's. I don't really know what kind of douchebag lifestyle angle they're working these days (does every third page still reek of Drakkar Noir?), but they completely screwed the pooch with their Eater's Guide to Brooklyn. They do acknowledge that Brooklyn is the coolest city on the planet (FUCK YOU Amsterdam! Snap!), but as a food guide, this shit blows. So here, for your personal edification, are my Top Ten Reasons GQ Magazine's Eater's Guide to Brooklyn is Horse Shit.

10. Obligatory Mention of Roberta's in Bushwick.  It is official: Roberta's is completely overexposed.  Just once, I'd like to see someone write something up about food in Brooklyn without crapping their pants over the hipster doofus wood-fired pizzas at Roberta's. I don't care how good the pizza is, because it's still not Di Fara.

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PARK SLOPE TOP TEN: PLACES TO GET HAMMERED AT BRUNCH

Drink options at Fonda.Last Saturday, I rolled out of bed well after noon and treated my bedheaded self to brunch. As a former early riser, it took a while for me to appreciate brunch for its true beauty. At its best, brunch is an unapologetic continuation of the previous night's drinking. There is no better breeding ground for such indulgence than the many brunch hotspots in the Slope. After MUCH research, here is a list of the ten places you should hit up for a drink on a Saturday morning....or afternoon. 

#10 - BOGOTA: A Colombian by blood, I must put Bogota on this list. Along with Bloody Marias ($5) and a variety of Mimosas ($5), the brightly colored restaurant serves Refajo ($5), a mixed drink of Colombian beer and soda. It's delightfully light, yet not fruity. Bogota used to include an alcoholic drink with each brunch entree, but has since revised their menu to an earlier happy hour (starts at 11 am) at a cheaper price. Luckily, the quality and quantity hasn't changed.

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Top Ten Ways to "go it alone" in Park Slope

Lest anyone think this is going to be one of those underhandedly positive "tips for singles" articles (my favorite is here - like I needed to be told not to buy a pound of fresh basil when I was single) or some sort of Oprah-esque treatise on the value of "me time" don't worry, it won't be. This is entirely about the pure, unadulterated, (sometimes misanthropic) joy of spending time by oneself. With that, here are my 10 favorite things to do solo in the Slope...

#10 - Go to a diner and read the paper. My diner of choice is the Park Cafe on 7th Ave at Union - mainly because I've never waited for a table but also because they have more kinds of pancakes than anywhere else I've been in the 'nabe.

#9 - Drink Alone Sometimes you want to go where no one knows your name, or talks to you, or even looks directly at you. O'Connors is my favorite place to have a drink alone. It's dive-y, cheap and usually quiet. The experience is downright meditative.

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